No More Memories
by rohanyoshi
Summary: The Avengers never thought they would be captured, let alone by the Black Widow's ex-husband, Alexei. They never thought that they would have to watch Agent Natasha Romanoff be tortured before their eyes. They never thought that someone as strong as the Black Widow would be permanently scarred for life after they escaped from Russia. They don't even know if she will recover.
1. Trauma

**I realize that I also have Whirlwind started for my other fans. That story will be continued, but at the moment, I have writer's block for that, and this story idea has appealed to me for a while now.**

* * *

Steven Rodgers sat in the new Stark Tower. No. It was the Avengers Tower now. Tony Stark had insisted that the Avengers take up residence in his ultra-modern sky-high penthouse. Steve wasn't sure if he appreciated this gesture. He hated new technology. Who wanted a phone that you got fingerprints all over? What if you were a criminal and wanted to be secret? If you left your phone, your fingerprints would be quite obvious. Back in his day, you used snail-mail. Easier. Not trackable at all, if you put a fake address on the envelope.

The rest of the Avengers were seated around a glass kitchen table. Well, the Avengers plus Tony Stark's girlfriend, Pepper Potts. Also a sore spot with Steve. What kind of name was Pepper? And Nick Fury. The director of SHIELD was sitting calmly in Tony Stark's skyscraper, too.

"How is she?" Thor asked. His eyes were furrowed with concern.

"Recovering. The doctors say she wouldn't have lasted much longer. You were right to get her out, Stark." Bruce replied. "Her physical injuries are numerous, but the damage on her mind is even more severe than we thought."

"Who are we talking about, exactly?" Pepper asked curiously. Steve glared at Tony. He hadn't filled his girlfriend in _before _the meeting?

"We're talking about Agent Natasha Romanoff." Fury answered icily, before Steve could answer himself. "You know that the Avengers were detained in Russia-"

_"Detained _is a weak word." Steve growled. "It was more like a 'let's all watch 'Tasha slowly die before our faces' sort of detention." Clint shot him a reproachful glance. Pepper's hand flew to her mouth, and Tony wrapped an arm around her comfortingly.

"Steve, we all know that you're extremely upset over this. Can you please keep your mouth shut, though?" Tony said sharply. "Pepper has a weak stomach." Pepper shot Tony an angry glance. Steve slouched back in his seat.

"Agent Romanoff was tortured by her ex husband, Alexei Shostakov." Fury continued, as if he hadn't been interrupted. "His only wish was to get information about the Avengers before killing Agent Romanoff. He almost succeeded. Luckily, the rest of the team got their act together and were able to break out before she died."

"She's not dead, is she?" Pepper asked anxiously.

"No, she is simply out of commission for a brief period of time. While she is recovering, we are expecting reports from other agents on the status of Alexei. We also plan on sending another group in to terminate him. Permanently. Since the Avengers have knowledge of the base he is currently using, unless he moves, they will be sent in to kill him."

"You have no idea how hard it was to hack all that security without Natasha! I can't do it again." Tony butted in. "It's nearly impossible. There will be more surveillance, and I can't do it quickly enough."

"Exactly. Which is why we're sending _all _of the Avengers. Including Agent Romanoff." Fury replied coldly. It took Steve a moment to process what Fury was saying. He stood up and pushed his chair away from the table. The others looked at him, stunned.

"You are not going to send Tasha back there!" he shouted. "She'll be traumatized. She's not a robot, Fury. She's got feelings, and we all know what she was like before this happened." The other Avengers stared at him.

"Was I the only one who knew?" Steve asked, his voice lowering. The others looked at him, confused, and a little scared of him. Steve clenched his fists in his hands.

"She had nightmares every night about Russia. What do you think it's going to be like after Alexei tortured her? When she returns to the compound? When she sees him again? Do you think she's going to be okay then? I don't think so! It would be like watching Pepper get the extremis virus all over again, Tony!" Tony looked startled, then furious.

"You will not drag that incident back into this place! It's over, and I will not tolerate talking about this anymore. Pepper doesn't need to live through every moment of that time again, Captain! Do you understand?" Tony shouted.

"That's exactly my point! What would it be like for you, Tony, if you had to go back to Afghanistan and relive all that again? See all that horror?" Steve snarled. "Don't you understand, people? This isn't about saving the world right now! It's about saving the mind of someone we all admire and love. We need to give her time to recover before we send her back into that horror again. She doesn't even need to go back. She shouldn't. It's inhumane."

"Agent Romanoff knew what she was signing up for when she joined the Russian expedition. She knew the risks. All of you did." Fury bellowed. "You all signed the papers. I expect each of you to carry out your contracts. You agreed to continue the mission until Alexei was dead. Romanoff knew that, too. She's an intelligent woman."

"She's still a human being, Director Fury." Bruce finally said. "Just give her some time."

"She can have three months. I expect her mind to be whole and prepared by March, Avengers. Be ready for then." Fury growled, and stalked out of the building. Steve glared after him.

"There's no way she's going to do it. If she screamed every night before that happened, what's going to happen when she remembers?" Thor wondered out loud. Steve didn't answer. He knew what they were all thinking. It was hard to know what a tortured, frightened Russian assassin would do once she remembered what had happened.

* * *

Steve walked to the hospital later, his heart filled with fury. He wished that Fury would understand what Natasha was going through, but the Director had completely abandoned his humanity in regards to his soldiers. The automatic sliding door opened and the receptionist glanced up.

"Ah, Mr Rogers." she said. Steve almost smiled. The receptionist had seen him so much during the past week that she now knew him by name. "She's been waiting for you." Steve nodded. Natasha had begun to expect his visits. He assumed that he was one of the few people she felt comfortable with now.

Steve punched the button for the fifth floor and waited while the elevator made its way down the floors. He was suddenly aware that someone was standing beside him, and had been doing so for quite some time. Steve was immediately embarrassed that he had not made conversation.

"Steve." the person said. Steve blinked. It was Pepper Potts, Tony's wife/girlfriend. Steve never really had bothered to find out the actual status of Tony's relationship. As far as he could tell, Pepper was just a good friend and business partner of Tony's. "Why didn't he tell me?"

"About Agent Romanoff?" Steve asked. Pepper nodded. "It's a very hard thing for us all to comprehend, Miss Potts. I think he didn't want you to worry. It's hard enough every night, thinking about what we had to watch, and know that we couldn't have done anything to help her. He didn't want to bring that into the daytime, too. It would ruin the whole day. That's why most of them don't come here."

"She's your friend, though." Pepper protested. "Doesn't she deserve that much?" The elevator dinged and Steve and Pepper boarded.

"Listen, Pepper. Anything could trigger memories for her. You must be very careful about what you say and what you do. Don't make any sudden movements. At the moment, she may not appear dangerous, but there are certain things that could trigger an... extreme reaction."

"If it's that much trouble, maybe I shouldn't-" Steve quieted her.

"I'm sure she's sick of listening to an old man rambling on about who knows what. You'll be refreshing, trust me. You're a nonviolent person, Pepper, unlike the rest of us. You have nothing, really, that could draw a flashback." Steve reassured her. Pepper didn't look convinced.

"The extremis virus, Steve-"

"Pepper, the only act of violence you have ever committed is when your life was threatened. The rest of us have killed at will. Believe me." Steve replied. The elevator dinged again and they both got out. Steve walked down the corridor to the very end of the hall, where 'Natasha Romanoff' was posted on the door. Steve knocked at the door.

"Come in."

* * *

Natasha was propped up with a bunch of pillows, a book in her hand. She was clearly waiting for their arrival. Her eyes widened at the sight of Pepper but she didn't comment on the new visitor. Steve pulled up a chair for Pepper, and sat down in another one.

"How are you, Tasha?" he asked. She shrugged.

"I've been worse. Bored out of my mind, mostly. They said that I can go home in a few days. They want to question me about _his _whereabouts before I go." Natasha said, her voice catching on the mention of Alexei. "How is the Avengers Tower?"

"High-tech, classy, and very expensive looking. But you know, I'm just an old dude. Anything newer than World War II is something that's high-tech." Steve joked. "All of it courtesy of Pepper, and Tony, of course."

"It's so nice of you to do this for us." Natasha said sincerely to Pepper. Tony's wife/girlfriend smiled weakly. Steve could tell that she was very nervous around Natasha.

"It's not a problem. Tony was so excited for a new project, and it was funny watching him try and personalize your floors." Pepper replied. Natasha smiled slightly, but Steve could tell there was no life behind her grin.

"If mine is decked out in pink and sparkles, I'm going to kill him." she said seriously. Steve snorted.

"You're not up to killing anyone, Natasha. Not with a cast on, and certainly not with broken ribs and a punctured lung." he said. Natasha frowned at him, and he raised his hands in surrender. "Or not. Maybe you can invent a new martial arts- killing with a cast." Natasha smiled again, and this one felt more real.

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**How was it? Read and Review!**


	2. Pepperoni Pizza

**Here is the next part! If you don't like torture, then don't read this. **

* * *

_A shivering, wet figure lay on a soaking wet wooden table. The Avengers watched helplessly as Natasha was repeatedly doused in ice-cold water, but they could do nothing to help their friend. Alexei grinned evilly after catching a glance of the Avenger's shocked faces. Natasha had a high pain tolerance, but how far would she be able to go before breaking down, or worse, dying?_

_Alexei then ripped Natasha's shirt off and held a slim dagger to her chest. With a swift stroke, he cut open a straight line in her chest, from her collarbone to her belly button. The gash immediately opened up and began to bleed. Natasha's grip tightened on the wooden table and her eyes squeezed shut. Then, Alexei took a hold of her and tossed her back into the hallway, shivering. The Avengers rushed to her side. Blood covered the tiles of the Russian bunker._

* * *

Steve woke from his nightmare, sweating despite the air-conditioned room inside the Avengers Tower. At first, he thought of going to Natasha for comfort. Natasha, who always was willing to let him into her apartment and talk off the dream. They both were traumatized from what had occurred during their lifetimes. Then, reality came crashing down on him and he realized that now, Natasha needed him more than ever, and he wasn't there for her in the way she needed.

He slid out of bed and padded through the halls of his floor. Once he got to the elevator, he punched the button to Natasha's floor. Steve knew it would be empty. Natasha had one more day until she was released, and then he could finally talk to her again. Freely this time. Not in front of numerous security cameras that were most certainly recording their every conversation.

The elevator dinged and Steve stepped into Natasha's hall. It was shockingly bare, with nothing but furniture and pictures. There was nothing personal in there, except the framed collage of pictures that had been taken of Natasha. Every Avenger had one on their floor, but Steve liked hers the best. It showed her in the light that he always saw her- sarcastically funny and surprisingly witty. It wasn't the cold, ruthless killing machine that everyone else saw her as. Stark had done a good job.

Steve just took in his surroundings, staring in wonder as he walked through the halls for the first time. There was the necessary rooms- a bathroom, kitchen, and a bedroom, as well as a living room. But there was also other rooms, unique to Natasha's interests. A ballet studio, with gleaming wooden floors and a floor-to-ceiling mirror, with surround-sound and a large screen built into one wall. A gym, with acrobatic equipment. And startlingly enough, an art studio. It was filled with colorful paints, with colorful splashes on the walls and endless stacks of canvas and paper. There was also a computer, which was near a screened-off area with paper and pencil. Steve hadn't known that Natasha liked art.

The sense of terror from the dream vanished as Steve continued walking through Natasha's apartments. He boarded the elevator and went back to his own floor.

* * *

_Two days later, the Avengers Tower_

Steve waited, his heart thumping nervously, as the numbers on the elevator began to light up. The Avengers stood waiting for the new arrival on the main floor, which was the floor for all the Avengers to relax and chat. The doors opened and Natasha limped out on crutches. Thor immediately hurried to Natasha's side.

"Welcome home, Lady Spider!" he said, and quickly stripped the backpack from her shoulders and slung it on his own. Pepper clasped Natasha's free hand and exchanged a few words with the spy. The others began to come forward, one by one. Natasha looked surprised but warmed to them after five minutes. Steve let her adjust to her surroundings, knowing that anything that happened could cause her alarm. The torrent of greetings and well wishes died away and people began to move toward the food that Stark had provided, led by Thor.

The agent Hill was also there, but she stood a little back, too. Steve began to maneuver his way over to her to try and make her more comfortable.

"It's nice to see you again, Agent Hill." he said politely. Agent Hill gave him an appraising look.

"Please, Rogers, save the titles for in front of Fury." she said, rolling her eyes. "Call me Maria, and I'll try not to call you Captain America." Steve grinned and nodded.

"It's a deal, Maria." She smiled slightly and turned back to watch Natasha settle into a plush couch, and Pepper flit around her like an overanxious mother. Steve also watched the two women with an interested look in his eye.

"I don't know what to say to Tasha." he admitted. "It feels like everything is different now. People treat her specially, and I know that's not what she wants. At the same time, though, my instincts make me want to make her feel safe and loved."

"Sometimes, Rogers, you have to be the one to give her the first push into the world. You're the one who realizes what is not what she needs." Agent Hill told him gently. "It doesn't hurt to be stern sometimes. Just don't be too harsh and she'll appreciate your attitude more than everyone else's."

"Why aren't you a psychologist, Maria?" Steve asked jokingly. "You probably give better advice than some shrink." Agent Hill shrugged and sighed.

"You pick things up when you work with traumatized people." she said.

* * *

Steve waited until most of the Avengers had retired to their rooms before approaching Natasha, who was staring into her cup of red punch. He sat down across from her and let her register his presence before he spoke.

"You know, I don't think your punch is hiding any malicious information from you, Tasha." he said. Natasha's mouth quirked up slightly, but she didn't reply immediately. Steve picked up one of the coasters and began to toss it in the air.

"I know it's not a Kool-Aid spy, Steve." she replied. "I was just thinking about how unhealthy this drink is. My insides are probably forever dyed red from drinking this. Perhaps it should be tested for poison." Steve chuckled, but Natasha kept a straight face.

"You know, there are other drinks out there. For instance, I'm sure that water is a safe bet." Steve suggested. Natasha closed her eyes and leaned back into the chair. He heard her sigh and then she opened her eyes again.

"Water is very difficult for me now, Steve. Especially with ice." she replied. The realization of what he had said crashed down on Steve's head and he immediately had the urge to apologize, but he could tell that Natasha had already moved on from the topic.

"Tony and Pepper seem very happy together." she observed. Steve pondered this, eager for a distraction from his slip-up with his water comment. They did seem happy. Pepper and Tony were a good couple.

"We should make them a pepperoni pizza." he said after a moment. Natasha snorted.

"Pepperoni _is _a pizza topping, isn't it?" she said. Steve was panicked for a moment, and then he understood what Natasha was trying to say. "But I suppose they wouldn't appreciate the humor in that reference."

"I dunno." Steve said.

"We just might have to test that out." Natasha said. She sat up, snagged her crutches and hopped to the elevator. "Meet me in five minutes on my floor. I hope you know how to bake pizza, Captain America."

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**How was it? R &amp; R!**


	3. Metal & Microwave?

**Here's the next chapter! If you don't understand the pepperoni reference from the previous chapter, it's the Pepper/Tony ship name :)**

* * *

Steve had managed to extract a recipe for pizza from the laptop computer, after he spent a few minutes trying to figure out how to get to the thing Tony called 'Google.' He then discovered the marvel of the technology called the printer. With his recipe held triumphantly in his hand, he emerged from the elevator with a bag of pepperoni.

"Finally, Steve." Natasha said. She was sitting on a swivel stool and was using the counter's touchable screen to look through her cabinets. "What took you so long? Were you doing your hair or something?"

"No, I was printing us a recipe." Steve replied, brandishing the piece of paper. Natasha looked up from what she was doing. "I had to figure out how to do some stuff before I printed it out. Like using Google."

"Someday, Steve, I'm going to teach you how to use technology. When my cast comes off, I'll give you a lesson." Natasha said, motioning to her left arm, which was in a cast. "You'll learn a lot of useful stuff. Including how to use the wonder that is called Google."

"Great. I feel the love." Steve said sarcastically. "I brought the pepperoni." Natasha nodded and began to hop off the stool, but Steve stopped her. She shot him an exasperated glance and whacked him gently with her free arm.

"I can do this myself." she said gently. "I've had enough of being babied. I don't want your help, but if I look like I'm going to pass out, you can help me." Steve nodded, and she grabbed her crutches and began to pull ingredients out of the cabinets. "You know, Steve, you didn't have to print the recipe out. There's a computer inside the counter that we could have used." Steve winced.

"I wanted the practice, alright, Tasha?" he said defensively. "I'd rather embarrass myself in front of you than Stark. He doesn't understand the concept of being frozen in time and then having to adjust to touch screens."

"Start mixing, Rogers." she said, tossing the bags of flour and cornstarch at him with surprising strength for a one-handed throw. "I will prepare the decorations."

_"Decorations?" _Steve repeated. "Tasha, what are you planning?" Natasha smirked and picked an iPad off the coffee table. She unlocked the screen and pulled up some sort of app and began to splash color on a white background.

"It's their anniversary, and we're going to throw them a party." she said.

* * *

Soon, the batter was ready to be put in the oven. Natasha had stopped by Thor's floor and picked up a can of sauce and cheese for the topping. Steve hadn't known that Thor had a grocery store in his apartment. According to Natasha, it was the size of a small convenience store that was restocked every week with anything Thor wanted. Steve turned the burner on the stove. He began to rummage through the cabinets for a pot.

"Steve." Natasha said, her voice tight and nervous sounding. She was staring at the burner's flames, and her knuckles were white on the iPad's surface. Steve took a moment to register what was going on. He comprehended what she was afraid of then. He flicked the burner off and turned back to face her.

"Hey, it's okay, Tasha." he said. She blinked at him. "It's not going to hurt you. It's controlled. It's just a stove top burner. It's nothing like the orphanage fire, alright?" She nodded, but he could see that she was still on edge from the experience. He, also, was a little stunned. It was the first time he set off a trigger, and it was not a fun feeling. He hated how scared his friend was, even though she was a strong woman, she was still afraid of fire. And water, now, too.

"It's so hard. It just hits me, and I never know when it's going to." Natasha whispered. "I could look at your glass of water this afternoon, and not freak out, but a blue flame on the top of a stove set me off. I thought I was doing so well."

"You're doing great, Tasha. It takes time, and especially now. I'll heat the sauce in the microwave." he replied softly. He poured the sauce back into the can and set it in the microwave. Steve then put the can into the microwave and turned it on. Natasha was returning to the anniversary decorations, when loud popping noises began to emit from the microwave.

"You seriously didn't put the sauce back in the can." Natasha said, laughing. "Take it out before it explodes."

There was a loud banging noise and suddenly, the glass door of the microwave was splattered in red sauce. Steve flushed. He hadn't known- how was he supposed to know that cans don't like microwaves?

"Why did it do that?" he asked pitifully. Natasha got a rag from the sink and opened the microwave. She started to wipe the insides with one hand, but Steve could tell that the motion was difficult for her. He still let her. He remembered Agent Hill's advice. Babying her wouldn't make her other arm heal quicker. Plus, Natasha needed the exercise.

"I didn't think about the fact that most people didn't have microwaves in your earlier life." she called back at him, and pulled out her hand. Her sleeve looked like someone with a bloody nose had used it as a tissue. "Microwaves don't like metal. Or plastic, really. You need to be careful what you put in there."

"Sorry." Steve said apologetically. "See, you should be like my modern world tutor. I can help you with physical therapy." Natasha rinsed the cloth out and hung it on the towel rack. She turned back to him, her face serious.

"I think we've both got our work cut out for ourselves." she replied solemnly.

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**I hope you liked it! Review please!**


	4. Relationship Eating

**Here's the next part! Enjoy! Just so you know, she has a broken wrist and a broken leg- I just wanted to clarify that. I realized that it might not have been clear.**

* * *

The pizza was soon done baking and Steve pulled it out of the oven. Natasha examined it critically and frowned.

"Wasn't it going to be a pepperoni pizza?" she asked. Steve slapped his forehead. "You seriously didn't forget to add the pepperoni! That's the whole reason why we made this."

"I'm sorry, Natasha!" he said. "I completely forgot to put them on. I could add them and put more cheese on, and melt the cheese and the pepperoni in the microwave." Natasha considered this, her head tilted to the side.

"That sounds good. Start working and I'll print the decorations. I'll also invite the other Avengers, and Maria." Natasha replied. Steve began to lay the pepperoni on the pizza and looked at his friend. She looked tired.

"I can do it." he offered. "Put your legs up and relax." Natasha shook her head.

"I'm alright, Steve. I'll get used to it." she snagged the iPad and put it in a navy blue backpack. She slung it on her shoulders and grabbed her crutches. which were leaning against the counter. Steve admired her persistence. Even with a broken leg, some broken ribs, and a punctured lung, she still carried on, almost normally.

"I'll have the pizza ready by the time you get back. Tell Thor to bring Cheetos down, okay?"

* * *

Natasha came back ten minutes later with Clint, Thor, and Bruce following her. Clint had the navy blue backpack on his shoulders, and by the look Natasha was giving him, she wasn't very pleased by that fact. Steve was ready with the freshly baked pizza.

"Why didn't you tell us that you were making a pepperoni pizza?" Clint whined. "We would have helped. Maybe then the pepperoni would have made it on quicker." Steve shot a questioning look at Natasha, who had the sense to look embarrassed.

"We thought that we would surprise all of you." she replied. She held out her hand for the backpack and Clint gave it to her. "I printed some decorations and we're all set to go. Steve, there's a pizza platter in the lower right hand corner, far side." she unzipped the bag and pulled out a roll of paper. She tossed it to Bruce, who looked surprised.

"What is this for, Natasha?" he asked.

"Pepper and Tony's anniversary is coming up soon. We're holding party." she explained. Steve busied himself with the pizza. He slid it off the counter and onto the platter. He held it up like a waiter and grinned.

"We're all set, guys. Let's go to the common floor and surprise them." he said.

* * *

They made it down to the common floor just in time to intercept the couple as they returned from their night out. Pepper almost jumped out of her skin, and Tony looked extremely surprised at what they had done.

"We just had dinner, guys..." he protested. "Besides, it's pepperoni pizza. I'm not going to eat our relationship. There's no way that I'm going to eat that." Clint snorted. Steve couldn't help but laugh. Tony was interesting. Natasha leaned against the wall, watching the proceedings.

"It was Tasha's idea." Steve announced.

"Way to throw her under the bus, Rogers." Bruce said jokingly. "I thought you were friends. I guess not, since you clearly just gave her to the wrath of pepperoni." Steve looked over at Natasha, who hadn't said anything.

"Excuse me for a minute." she said politely, and stepped back onto the elevator. The others shrugged, although Bruce did look slightly concerned for his friend. Steve frowned at the closed door and made to board the elevator.

"Leave her alone." Pepper said softly. "She needs some time." Steve swallowed, but he stepped back and joined the party. Contrary to his claims, Tony was digging into the pizza, and half the slices were gone.

* * *

Later that night, Natasha came down to Steve's floor before he turned the light out. For a moment, they just stood staring at each other. Then he motioned for her to sit on one of the armchairs and he, too, sat.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Yeah." she replied. "I wanted to thank you. For saving me back there. You shouldn't have." Steve frowned at her.

"Natasha, I would never leave you behind. Like it or not, you're part of the team. If we leave, you leave. I would never have left you there." he said firmly. "I would be just like them if I did that. I have no desire to be like that. I would save anyone from being like that. From doing those things."

"What if it was too late, Steve?" she asked softly. "What if I attack one of you? If I have a flashback like with Wanda and I try and kill one of you? I'm a liability now."

"You are not a liability. You are just the same as before. Barton told me you had nightmares before. How can this be any different?" Steve insisted.

"How is it different? Every time I walk into a room I have to look for things that will set me off. Every time I have a conversation I have to try not to get set off by something they say. When I go to sleep, I lock my door, because I don't want to wake up and start killing any of you. You have no idea." Natasha replied, her voice shaky. "But I don't want to be like that. It's like there's something inside of me, like Bruce, except instead of the bad guy being smothered, it's the humane part of me that can't breathe."

"You are nothing like the Hulk."

"Listen, forget it. I don't want to talk about it anymore. I don't want anyone to worry about me. I just came to ask you for some medical tape." Natasha said, standing back up. Steve went and got it. She took it and gave him a weak smile.

"Have you called Maria Hill? I think she'd go out with you, Steve. Take the chances that life gives you." she said, and left. Steve stood there in the middle of the room, his mind reeling with what he had just learned.

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**Sorry it took so long- some relatives are visiting and I was a little stumped. Review please!**


	5. A Little Fall of Snow

**Sorry for the delay- I took a hiatus for a bit :) For those who have asked, this is probably not a Captain Hill fic, and I don't think it will be Romanogers, either. I think they will all just be really good friends and comfort each other. Or maybe I'll change my mind.**

* * *

Steve awoke the next morning, refreshed and ready to begin the day. He pulled a blue shirt on and a sweatshirt. The nightmares hadn't come, which was a surprise. It made him feel oddly guilty, because he was sure that the others did not sleep well yet. Steve took the elevator to the common floor and began to make waffles.

"Morning." someone said. Steve turned around. It was Clint.

"Hey, Clint." Steve replied. "Sleep well?"

"Somewhat. It was the usual. The sparkling unicorns, the rainbow bridges leading to fantasy land." Clint said sarcastically. "No, but seriously, it was okay. Nothing too horrible, nothing like right after Russia-"

"How do you know Nat so well?" Steve blurted. "You always know what she thinks. I don't understand how you do it. Nat is very private, and you know her like the back of your hand." Clint poured himself a cup of coffee and shrugged.

"Nat and I have been on many missions together. We were in Budapest together. I was sent to kill her. I was her first partner. She's the only one who knew about my kids. We worked all over the world together. She drew me back from Loki. We have a bond that would be difficult to sever. It was forged through hardships and the world of death. She is a very different individual. When you get to know her, as the real Natasha Romanoff, you'll find that you also love her." Clint finally said. "I know people always say that they love their friends. But when the first time you saw her, or the hundreds of times after that, did you really love her? The assassin. SHIELD's most wanted."

"I guess I didn't. I still don't know what to think about her. She's like no one I've ever met." Steve confessed. "I don't know how to help her, because I feel like we barely even know each other."

"Trust me, Steve, you know each other a lot better than you might think. Remember when you were chasing after the Winter Soldier? You went through so much together. It's like your very own Budapest. Trust your instincts. Follow your head and your heart, and you might see through to the soft side of the Black Widow."

"Hey, guys!" Tony said, bounding into the kitchen area. "No green guy, demigod, or spider yet?" Clint and Steve exchanged exasperated looks. The conversation, however brief, had actually helped Steve a lot in understanding the conundrum that was Natasha.

"No. Obviously not." Clint replied. He set his mug on the counter. "I was thinking that we should go Christmas shopping. Together, I mean. As a team." Steve raised his eyebrows. _Christmas shopping? _

"Brilliant, Legolas. I'll schedule it all. Jarvis?" Tony clapped his hands together. "Erase everything from Steve, Clint, Natasha, Thor, and Bruce's schedule for today." Steve frowned at Tony, who looked just a little too smug. He decided to pop Tony's bubble.

"Jarvis? Erase Pepper's, too."

"NO NO NO NO NO!" Tony immediately growled. "She has press meetings and other stuff for the company! Do you want me to get broke and have to eject you all from the tower?" Clint snorted. Steve couldn't help but grin.

"Too bad, Stark. I guess that you'll have to endure your wife for a whole entire day. Imagine that!"

* * *

Natasha was surprisingly game for a day of shopping. Steve had been anxious to find out what her reaction to the shopping day was, and she had actually approved. The whole team was going into the City to shop for each other. As they walked out the door, Natasha slipped her hand into Steve's. He noticed that she was clenching rather tightly and looked a little too nervous for a shopping spree.

"Okay, here's the plan. Steve and Nat, you're a pair. I'm with Pepper. Thor and Bruce, you're buddies, and Clint, you get to pick your group. After three hours, we'll get back here and switch partners, so that we don't see our presents being bought. We'll also drop our purchases off." Tony announced. "And, so we're not mobbed by the press, I got you all stuff." Tony tossed a blue baseball cap in Natasha's direction, sunglasses in Clint's, another hat at Steve, sunglasses at Pepper, and a fedora at Bruce. "Get out there and get some gifts!"

They began to move. Steve couldn't help but see that Natasha was trying hard not to bump into anyone. Which, in New York City, would be rather difficult. He wrapped an arm around her and felt her relax slightly.

"Got any ideas, Nat?" he asked softly.

"Yeah." she replied. "Let's start with Thor." Steve nodded and was silent, thinking about his options. Natasha was acting normal, and it made him feel more relaxed around her, too. Last night, he had been awkward.

"I need to go into a grocery store." Natasha finally said. Steve immediately steered them toward the other side of the street, where a conveniently placed grocery store was located. They stepped inside the store and looked around.

"Where to?"

"The PopTarts, obviously, Rogers." Natasha replied. Steve smiled slightly. Thor was hilarious when he was eating PopTarts. It was actually really amusing to learn that an Asguardian liked American junk food.

They bought Thor several large boxes of assorted PopTart flavors. They had both been given credit card signed with their names, but the money came from Stark's accounts, since he was the only Avenger with a large stash of cash. The others made their living by working for SHIELD, but Tony could survive even without being signed to the Avengers. Steve carried the bag in one hand and held Natasha's in the other. She acted normal, but he could still notice subtle movements that alerted him to her nervousness.

"I think I'm going to get Jane a new telescope." Steve said as they were walking down the street. Natasha nodded and followed him to the store that carried numerous astrology equipment. They purchased a sleek, black telescope and asked for it to be shipped to the Avengers Tower. The man at the counter looked slightly awed when he realized the two under the baseball caps were Avengers.

* * *

All was going well, until they were walking down the streets toward some of the Broadway theaters, and it began to snow. Both of the Avengers hated the cold. Steve disliked it because he spent 70 years in the ice. Natasha dreaded it because of Russia. During their kidnapping, she had been doused in ice water, straight from a mountain stream. She had also been outside for an hour without a coat on, as another torture experiment. Natasha stopped walking as the flakes began to fall harder. People were beginning to get inside and out of the cold.

"Are you alright, Natasha?" Steve asked. He was trying not to let his own apprehension show. He didn't want to make her even more frightened than she already was. Natasha didn't reply. Her green eyes were glazed over, like she was seeing something that Steve couldn't. He recognized the symptoms of a flashback as soon as he saw her eyes. Bucky, his partner during the war, had also suffered nightmares and flashbacks. Steve had learned to notice when one was coming.

Natasha was shaking, and a sound like a wounded animal rose from her throat. Steve fought the panic that was beginning to rise up in his chest and stepped closer to the assassin. He flipped open his phone.

"Stark, get a car over here now." There were no cabs available. The street was deserted. People were rushing to get home before it snowed harder. Steve hung up before Tony had the chance to reply.

"Listen to me, Nat. You're in New York City. You're Christmas shopping. Nothing is going to hurt you. I'm here to protect you, Nat." Steve said gently. Natasha didn't seem to hear. Steve kept talking, but his mind was reeling with solutions. When Bucky had flashbacks, physical contact affected him the most. Either Natasha would strike out at Steve, or the contact would bring her back to the real world.

Steve enveloped Natasha into his chest, and after a brief second, he felt her shaking ease slightly. The snow was beginning to fall even faster now, and an inch already was on the sidewalk. Steve was beginning to get cold. He stroked the back of Natasha's head, and he felt her draw a shaky breath. They stayed like that until Stark came in his fancy black car.

* * *

**I am SO sorry for the delay. I didn't know where to begin and I was taking a break from writing and just browsing the fanfics. I hope you liked this! If you have any scenes you might want me to write, submit them, and if I like them, then I might put it in! Review, please!**


	6. The Strength to Try

**The next chapter has pulled into the station! :D**

* * *

Natasha was slumped against Steve's side, her face buried in his jacket. Stark had picked them up in his car, and now they were headed back to the Avengers Tower. Neither Steve nor Natasha explained to Tony why the rescue was necessary. They had climbed into the car, shivering, cold, and covered in snow. It was a sign of Tony's trust that he didn't ask them what had happened. Steve looked at the assassin and noted the steady rise and fall of her chest. She was asleep.

"You two alright?" Tony asked casually. Steve looked up.

"Yeah. It was the cold that set us both on edge. When it started snowing, she lost it. It wasn't a full-out panic attack. It was more like she was sucked into a world I couldn't see, and I can't even begin to imagine what was running through her mind."

"It's so hard to see her like this. She's always seemed like the strong one. The only time I saw her falter was when she was forced to relive the Red Room, courtesy of Wanda. But it's gotten so much worse. At least then it wasn't physical torture she was reliving." Tony confessed. "I waited for you two to call. I even expected you to get into some kind of problem."

"We're just a bunch of damaged people, aren't we? All of us. You from Afghanistan. Tasha from basically her whole life until the Avengers, Russia. Me from the war. Clint about his kids. Thor about Loki. It's just one nightmare after the other."

"You got that right. Listen, I can tell the others that you two were caught in the blizzard. Nothing else." Tony offered. "No one else needs to know. I know what it's like, Cap." For once, the cocky billionaire was offering something out of empathy. Steve nodded again and cautiously wrapped his arm around Natasha. Nothing would get between them.

* * *

_"NATASHA!" _

_The red-haired assassin was tossed roughly to the ground inside the Russian bunker. She was shivering and her lips were blue. Thor got to her side first, and then the others. Steve could see Bruce struggling to retain his grip on reality._

_"She's freezing." Thor announced. Without hesitation he whipped off his red cape and wrapped Natasha in it, cradling her to his chest. She looked so small lying there in Thor's arms. Even vulnerable. It was a change from the stoic, courageous Natasha they were all familiar with._

_"Any news on SHIELD?" Steve asked, his question directed at Tony. He shook his head._

_"T-th-ey s-s-said that S-S-H-IELD w-was s-s-u-p-posed to g-get h-h-ere in t-two days." Natasha murmured, still pressed to Thor's chest. The other Avengers exchanged startled words. Steve never expected her to be coherent after what her Russian torturers did to her, but yet she still managed to gather information._

_"You're going to be okay, Nat. We'll get you home." Clint said, his voice soft. As they spoke Natasha's eyes were closing. Thor put a hand on her chest. His palm was huge against Natasha's small, lightweight frame._

_"Her heart is slowing. We must leave soon or she will die." Thor said. He handed Natasha to Clint, whose arms tensed, as if he were expecting more weight. "Lady Natasha will not last two more days. We've been here for a month. If they torture her any more they will kill her."_

_"Then we must do it ourselves." Bruce announced. Natasha murmured something that the others couldn't hear. Clint, with her in his arms, could._

_"Across the hall is where our weapons are." He said out loud. "She found them." He looked back at Natasha. Her red hair, even, seemed to have lost its color. Her eyes were closed and her chest rose the barest millimeter. _

_"We're breaking out. When they come and get her next, they're not going to. We're getting their clearances and we're busting out of here. Natasha is not going to die."_

* * *

Steve woke in a cold sweat. This nightmare was new. In the past, he had always recalled the moments when they were forced to watch her torture sessions. This time, it was the moment where hope had suddenly appeared. Despite Natasha's weakening condition, the team had managed to get out before the Russians caught up to them. SHIELD encountered them five miles away from the bunker, with Natasha on the brink of death. Carrying her those five miles had been the worst five miles of Steve's life. He had watched her breaths become slower and had seen the color in her eyes fade slowly. He had hated that feeling. That a soldier was dying and he was there, but he couldn't stop it. Luckily, SHIELD did. But now they wanted Natasha to finish what they had started.

* * *

**Sorry if this chapter was a little short.**


	7. Confession

**Here is the next part. I wrote this per request of EvilRegalForLife. They asked for a Natasha and Pepper scene. Hopefully you like it!**

**Just so you know, the title of this story, "No More Memories", comes from Andrew Lloyd Webber's _Phantom of the Opera. _It's a lyric from the song Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again. The previous chapter's title also derives from this musical. I highly suggest Phantom of the Opera if you're into theater. Anyway. Just citing the titles :)**

* * *

The next morning, Steve rose early and went jogging around the city. Not many people were out running, so he encountered almost no one on his run. When he returned, the rest of the Avengers were beginning to make breakfast. Natasha's casts were off, which made Steve extremely surprised.

"You got your casts off already?" he asked incredulously.

"My serum does do that, too, Steve." Natasha reminded him. "It's not as strong as yours. It just makes me age slower and heal quicker. I still have scars, but if there's a break or a lot of blood loss, the serum does start to heal it. Bruce took them off for me." Bruce gave a sheepish smile.

"When you're all done eating, Pepper and I have something to tell you." Tony said when they were all seated. Pepper and Tony exchanged secretive glances. Thor, too busy eating, didn't notice. Natasha seemed to be focused on her orange juice. Clint was playing with his phone under the table.

Steve put butter on his waffles and began to eat. The others dug in, too, and soon, most of the waffles were consumed. One by one they dismissed themselves to change out of their pajamas. Steve noticed that Natasha still had his sweatshirt from Russia. He shrugged it off. He could always buy a new one, and if it made her feel safer, she could keep it.

* * *

"We wanted you four to be the first ones to know this." Tony began. They were all seated in the living room where Natasha's party had been. Natasha was nested next to Steve, and Clint had his arm around the back of the sofa where all three of them were sitting. Pepper and Tony were together on another sofa, and Thor and Bruce occupied separate armchairs. "Pepper and I are expecting a child."

There were mixed reactions. Thor immediately swept Pepper and Tony into a bear hug. Bruce patted Tony on the back after Thor set him down. Steve extracted Natasha from his side and hugged both of them, and Natasha also hugged them. Clint grinned at them and snapped a picture for his wife. After they all had said their congratulations, they sat back down.

"We thought about telling you for Christmas, but I know that Clint is leaving tomorrow to get to the farm." Pepper confessed. "If any of you have plans for Christmas, feel free to leave. We'll send your gifts along with you." The rest of them shrugged.

"I thought we could invite Jane and Betty." Bruce said. "They'd like to get to know all of you better. They've met you but they aren't acquainted." Tony and Pepper nodded. They were all quiet for a little bit.

"Steve and Red, I thought you could finish your shopping online today." Tony said finally. "The others completed it while I was picking you two up. You can use whatever you want to make the purchase." Steve nodded, and Natasha did, too.

"Your generosity never ceases to amaze me, Tony." Steve said. Tony smiled, wrapping his arms around Pepper, who leaned into him. Steve felt a sudden yearning for Peggy. If she hadn't died, he would have wanted to invite her to the Christmas celebration.

"The team never ceases to amaze me with your dedication and your compassion. I can't believe how supportive you guys are. Realize that once Pepper has her baby, I won't be going on missions for a little bit. I've even been thinking about quitting the team. I'd still sponsor you, of course. You'd all stay in the Tower, and you'd use my funds. I have no problem with that. But Pepper and I and the baby might live separately." Steve nodded. He understood.

* * *

**Pepper's POV:**

Pepper was excited that they were expecting. She had never thought that they would be a family of three, but now, the baby was only five months away. She hadn't been showing as much as normal women do, and that worried her. The symptoms hadn't even shown up until after the first trimester. She even wished that she had known sooner, to tell the team, and prepare. But it was difficult. She hadn't been feeling well, but she had dismissed it until she had felt something move inside of her. She had taken the test and went to the doctor, and the test had come back positive.

"Natasha?" she asked. She had been walking to the roof, expecting it to be empty. It wasn't. The youngest, and possibly the most attractive, member of the team (in Pepper's opinion) turned around. She was wearing Steve's sweatshirt underneath a professional looking coat.

"Congratulations, Pepper." Natasha said. Her voice was friendly, but Pepper could see that she felt like a caged animal. Her smile was forced. Pepper stepped closer to the redheaded assassin. She never thought that they would get along, but now, she wanted to reach out to the young woman.

"Are you alright?" she asked. Natasha's gaze returned to look at Pepper. "You seem sad." And frightened, Pepper wanted to add. But she didn't Natasha swallowed and looked back out at the rising sun.

"I never thought that I would have to be in this position. Watching you and Tony, happily planning your baby's arrival." she said in a lifeless tone. "I didn't think I would ever have to watch a family begin. I thought that I could avoid all the pregnant colleagues and never have to face babies ever again. But now I do. And I'll watch you and Tony raise something that I never will. I will never have that kind of bond with a child."

"What do you mean?" Pepper hardly dared to ask.

"In the Red Room, we were sterilized at age seventeen. It was the graduation ceremony. They wanted us to never worry about being fertilized by a target." Natasha said. Pepper's heart throbbed. She hadn't known. How could she have known?

"I'm so sorry." Pepper whispered. Natasha whirled on her.

"Sorry? No, Pepper, it's I who should be sorry. I'm sorry I told you that. You didn't need to carry that weight with you. I know now by the look in your eye that you will regret ever having this baby in the first place. You will think I hate you." she said forcefully. "The baby is a blessing on your family. You will love it and care for it no matter what you think I will think about it. Treat it well, Pepper. It's a treasure, giving the gift of life. I hope you know that. That baby will be the symbol of your love, and believe me, that baby will be the most spoiled one on earth. Just do me one favor."

"Anything, Natasha."

"If you will, let me visit once in a while." A tear ran down Natasha's cheek. "I want to know what it's like. To be a child again. To be a mother. Or a sister." Pepper stepped even closer.

"You are like a sister to me, Natasha." She wrapped the small, young assassin in her arms and didn't let go for a long, long time. After a while, Natasha's tears subsided and she looked back at the strawberry-blonde.

"So that's what it's like to have a mother."

* * *

**The pregnancy thing is just confusing, but I didn't want to cover nine months of Pepper being pregnant. Let's just say that she was under a lot of stress with the incident in Russia so the symptoms disappeared somewhat.**


	8. Angel in the Dark

**I was writing another possibility for Chapter 8 but I decided that it would take a while. That will come later, but for now, here is the new chapter 8! Just so you know, it's now Steve's point of view again.**

* * *

"Captain Rogers, you may want to wake up." JARVIS said over the intercom. Steve stirred in his bedroom. "Miss Romanoff appears to be having a severe nightmare." Steve lay there, his muddled brain trying to register what JARVIS was saying to him.

"Can you repeat that?" he asked sleepily. If JARVIS could have rolled his eyes, he probably would have.

"Miss Romanoff is having an extreme flashback, sir. You may want to prevent her from causing damage to herself." he said again. Steve blinked, and then he sprang into action. He pulled a tight blue Under Amour shirt and hurried out of his bedroom.

He almost ran through his floor, and he punched the button for Natasha's floor. He bounced on the balls of his heels until the elevator dinged open. He could immediately hear Natasha's whimpers and screams as soon as the door opened. Steve navigated through the dark floor and eventually reached her bedroom. She was flailing around, her eyes tightly shut. He could see the pain and desperation clearly though the light that played on her face. When he stepped on the door, she jumped off the bed and at Steve.

He knew she wasn't awake. Her mind was controlling her, like she was half in the nightmare and half in the real world. He grabbed her wrists and shoved her back onto the bed. He hovered over her, her legs pinned beneath him and her wrists held tightly in his hands. She tried to squirm out from underneath him, but he held on.

"You're okay. It's okay, Natasha. Calm down. You're in the Avengers Tower. No one can hurt you." he repeated over and over again. Eventually, her green-gray eyes flew open. They were nose to nose, Steve on top of her, steady and strong. She was underneath, shaking and wilting like a flower. They were so close that Steve could see the different colors in her eyes.

"Steve?" she breathed, her voice shaky. "What...?"

"JARVIS called me. For Artificial Intelligence, he's actually a pretty decent guy." Steve told her. He sat up, releasing her wrists. They were dark around the bones, and Steve immediately regretted what he had done to restrain her. "I'm so sorry, does it hurt?" Natasha looked with a confused glance to where his eyes were.

"No, no it doesn't. It happens a lot, and it wasn't you." she said softly. "In the Red Room, they handcuffed us to our beds. They didn't want us to escape in the night. I slept with those on for thirteen years. It doesn't do very much for the health of your skin."

"How long has this been going on?" he asked.

"Since we got back. I thought it would wear off after two days in the tower. This was only the third one." she admitted. "It's fine. Don't worry about it. I don't know why JARVIS called you, because it's not a big deal."

"Natasha, you went through all of that because of us. It's a big deal. You're part of the team, and you need to tell us when something like that happens. You could hurt yourself." Steve insisted. "You should never go through that alone. I've had nightmares, too, and someone was always there-"

"I can handle it. Just let me adjust to this, alright? It's only happened three times. It's not something you should get so agitated about, Steve."

"You have saved me multiple times. From the Winter Soldier, in New York, and in Russia. Let me save you from the past." Steve implored. Natasha laid back on her pillow and stared up at the ceiling.

"I feel so useless when it happens. I can feel myself trying to get out of what I'm seeing, but I can't do it. It happens when I least expect it, and then I can't stop it." she whispered. Steve propped himself up on his elbow.

"Hey." he said. He cautiously put his hand on her arm. She looked at him. Suddenly, he was struck by how angel-like she looked. She was beautiful. Her red hair was spread across her pillow and her green eyes were staring at him through the darkness. There in the dark, he finally felt like he could reach out to someone like Natasha. For the first time in a long time, he felt like he had something that he could save. "It's gonna be alright."

* * *

**This was shorter than normal but I like it. I got the idea from the Incredible Hulk- you know, when Betty and Hulk are side-by-side in the deleted scene and they're just talking? That's how I picture it. If you want to see what it's like, just Google 'motel room scene' from the Hulk. And I suggest watching that movie. Arwen from Lord of the Rings is in it. That makes worth your while. She's an amazing actress, but I will always associate her voice with Elvish in the Lord of the Rings. :))))**


	9. Armchair Dreams

**Yes, I do suppose that this story is going in the Romanogers direction, isn't it ;)**

**Sorry for the delay in updates- I was trying to come up with a good idea for this next chapter and was also suffering a obsession with the X Factor :D I also apologize for those who don't celebrate Christmas. Hopefully you still find this part enjoyable. Also, this is not a Brutasha fic so Betty is present in this story :) Long live Liv Tyler. Anyway. Commencing with the story. This also has ties to the Incredible Hulk.**

* * *

It was Christmas morning. Steve had wrapped, tagged, and tied all of his presents and they were now placed under the Avengers Christmas tree down on the main floor. It was a stark contrast from the events that had occurred in Russia. The atmosphere was charged with spirit and cheer, and Steve was glad that the holiday was finally here. All of the Avengers were sitting in a circle in front of the tree. The group also included Pepper (who was beginning to show), Jane Foster and Betty Ross. Laura and her children were coming later.

"Okay, how about we pull names out of a hat to see who goes first?" Tony suggested. They all wrote their names down on a piece of paper and put it in a baseball hat. It was returned to Tony, who shuffled the pieces inside.

"The winner is... Betty!" Tony announced. Betty smiled. "Nat, why don't you pick one out for her, since you're on her left? That's how it will go for everyone else, too." Tony continued. Natasha gracefully rose and scanned the tree for Betty's presents. She finally chose a small, square box and handed it to Betty.

"It's from Steve." Natasha told them. Betty flashed a brilliant smile in Steve's direction. She neatly untied the green ribbon on the package and parted the purple wrapping paper. She opened the box and gasped.

"Thank you, Steve! It's lovely." she held up a picture of the campus that she worked at before Bruce's incident with the military. Steve nodded.

"I had hope that you'd like it." he said. Betty nodded.

"Alright, Steve, get a present for Nat." Tony said. Steve stood up. He didn't know where to look under the tree. He decided on a somewhat squishy package that was from Clint. He handed it to her and Natasha shot Clint a withering glance.

"If you got me a Spiderman shirt I'll kill you, Clint." she said. The archer looked properly ashamed. Natasha ripped the wrapping paper off and her hand flew to her mouth. "Oh my god, Clint." she said softly. Clint looked smug.

"Not exactly a shirt now, is it, Tasha?" he asked. She shook her head. Steve was startled to see tears welling in her beautiful eyes. She held up a ragged old teddy bear. The circle was silent for a brief second.

"You have no idea how much this means to me, Clint." Natasha said. "This is unbelievable. I thought they had thrown it away." Clint smiled at her.

"Care to explain to us what's going on?" Tony asked casually. Natasha turned to the rest of the circle. Steve leaned forward in anticipation.

"My parents gave this to me. It was the last thing I ever got from them. The next day, our house was burned to the ground and they died. I escaped from the house and wandered the streets with nothing but the bear and what clothes I had on my back. The Red Room found me and I never saw the bear again. The first night was awful because I thought they had thrown it away." Natasha replied, her voice shaking a little bit.

"You're welcome, Nat." Clint said softly.

* * *

They finished opening the gifts. Steve received a gift card to and a huge stack of books, among other things. The gift card was from Betty and the books were from Natasha. Some of the books were the Lord of the Rings, the Mortal Instruments and a book called 'An Idiot's Guide to Captain America'. Steve read it and found it hilariously funny.

"Steve?" a voice asked. Steve looked up from the _Fellowship of the Ring_. Pepper was standing there, an anxious look on her face. Steve slipped a bookmark into the book and closed it.

"What is it? Are you alright?" he asked her. Pepper sat down across from him. The living room was deserted. Jane and Thor had gone to look at the stars. Tony was presumably in his lab, working on another project. Natasha and Clint were running ten miles around the city together, and Clint's family was doing a massive puzzle in the gym. Betty and Bruce were examining something odd in the lab on radiation. They were alone.

"Yes, I'm fine. I wanted to ask you about Nat." she told him. "I'm worried about her. She doesn't have her usual spunk anymore. It's like she's dead inside. I mean, not completely, but we've lost the Natasha we used to have."

"You must understand, Pepper, that this isn't something that can be cured in a night. The consequences of being a hero are bigger than you might think. Her past is far more traumatic than we could ever imagine." Steve said seriously. "We're all worried, but she's healing already. I think that being around Betty and yourself makes her more comfortable."

"I think that you're helping, too, Steve. She clings to you now. I just wanted to know if there was anything you think might help her." Pepper admitted. "You're a great guy, Steve. She deserves someone like you to look after her."

"She may deserve someone like me, ma'm, but she certainly is too good for an old guy like me." Steve joked. "Just talk to her. Try not to mention her past too much. Engage her. Make her understand that we're her friends. Congratulations on your..." he motioned to Pepper's body. "Friend." Pepper laughed.

"Thank you, Steve."

* * *

_The roar of a helicarrier reached Steve's ears as the team raced through the Russian tundra. Natasha was cradled in his arms. Her eyes were closed and her chest was rising and falling at a frightening rate, and dark, scarlet blood was seeping into his jacket's sleeves despite Thor's cape wrapped around Natasha's body. _

_"Stay with us, Nat." he begged her as the sound of people drew closer. The team moved in. Clint jogged beside Steve, their breath coming out in puffs of vapor. They had been running for three miles. Steve's arms were beginning to tire, but still he pushed through. Natasha needed help and she needed it immediately. _

_And with a sudden jolt, Steve saw Natasha's chest stop moving. No clouds rose above her pale lips. Clint sprang into action. He felt for her pulse._

_"She's leaving us."_

_Suddenly, a black clad figure emerged from the trees ahead of them. Tony, flying above them, fired his guns at the figure. Clint yanked the shield off Steve's back with a rough, violent motion. He threw it above the figure's head and the bullets bounced harmlessly off the enforced metal._

_"It's Hill, Stark!" he bellowed. Agent Hill rushed forward and took Natasha from Steve. She sprinted back where she came from, and the team followed in hot pursuit. As they settled into the plush chairs of the helicarrier, Clint told the rest of the team what Steve also knew._

_"She's dying."_

* * *

"Steve!" a hand shook Steve roughly awake. "It's a dream, man." Steve blinked. The face of Clint swam in front of him, covered in sweat. Steve bolted upright. His neck hurt from being slumped against his armchair.

"I saw the helicarrier." Steve gasped. Understanding dawned in Clint's eyes.

"You saw her almost die, there, on the run." he said. Steve swallowed and nodded. The windows outside were pitch black now. The room's lights were dimmed and the hallways were dark. "Go to bed, Steve."

"Thanks for waking me up." Steve said as he rose.

"I figured that it couldn't have been a good dream. Those never come from sleeping in armchairs."

* * *

**Again, sorry for the delay!**


	10. Reckless Abandon

**Here is the next chapter! This came to me while investigating the show they call 'Agents of SHIELD' :) Hopefully I can come up with some other good chapters for you guys! Feel free to leave suggestions! Hill returns for her second appearance!**

* * *

Natasha had finally gotten the courage up to go into SHIELD again. Steve was accompanying her to the base, where Maria Hill, Coulson, and Fury were going to meet them. He had been promised that they would do no mission-related items. She would be able to train in the facility and adjust slowly to the life of an agent of SHIELD. Natasha had not been in the field for several months now, and the agents were hoping that she would return to service.

"You ready for this, Nat?" Steve asked her, his hands on the wheel and eyes firmly on the road. "I can turn around right now if you've changed your mind." Natasha was sitting in the passenger seat of the Mercedes that Tony had lent them.

"It's got to happen sometime." she replied, her voice a little tense. Steve looked over at her. It was four days after Christmas and she hadn't had a flashback for a week now. He was almost beginning to hope now. "I can't sit around and do nothing. Agents have trauma all the time, but I was the only one who was given leave."

"What happened in Russia was a far cry from trauma, Nat. It was torture. You needed time to get used to what your mind thinks, and Fury knows that." Steve told her firmly. "You're not going to be assigned a mission yet. They just want to make sure you're safe and happy."

"Fury doesn't understand the concept of happiness, I'm fairly certain." Natasha said with a hint of humor in her voice. "If he did, SHIELD would be a better organization. There would be more vacation and less killing."

"Maybe his idea of happiness means killing."

"If that's true, we're all being led by a psychotic killer who enjoys it." Steve rolled his eyes. Natasha had never lost her twisted sense of humor. He wondered how she even came up with her witty comebacks without pause.

* * *

"Welcome back to SHIELD, Agent Romanoff." the artificial intelligence system of SHIELD said when she swiped her card at the door. "Agents Hill and Coulson are waiting for you on the main deck, along with Director Fury." Natasha nodded and pushed the button on the elevator. Steve followed her.

"What are they supposed to talk to you about?" he asked her once they were on their way.

"They're going over the legal papers regarding my absence and also informing me of future missions that I could take up in the future. They're also reviewing promotion guidelines and the rules for an agent in the field, like I've forgotten." Natasha said somewhat bitterly. "Apparently there's been a big push in SHIELD ranks to move me up in the clearance level."

"But you love being in the field." Steve said. "You're going to take some sort of desk position like Hill?"

"Actually, they were more thinking about moving me to Coulson's agent team and taking me off the normal agent call list. Barton's already been given the privilege of refusing offered missions." she told him. "Coulson's group is the elite. Being moved up in clearance is just code for 'Elite SHIELD Agent Club.'"

Steve couldn't tell if she was being sarcastic or not. Then again, most of the times she talked to him he questioned what mentality she said things with.

"So Hill is in the Elite SHIELD Agent Club?" he asked her as they stepped out onto the deck of the SHIELD base. The floors below them were opened up so that those on the deck could see down to the first floor. Since there were only five floors, it wasn't too difficult. Even for Fury's one eye.

"Sometimes. She's taken missions with me sometimes, and that's a step down from her level of authority." Natasha told him. They stopped in front of Fury, Coulson, and Hill. All were in their standard uniform. Fury in his black gangster/gung-ho jacket, Coulson in his suit, and Maria in her standard-issue SHIELD uniform.

"Welcome back, Romanoff."

* * *

"Agent Romanoff, you are expected to return to the field in four months exactly. On April 29th you are expected to report to duty with Agent Hill. Your mission will be in Nepal, tracking down a wayward SHIELD defect. Upon completing your mission, you are to return to the helicarrier and you are to join Coulson's team. I expect you to work with them as you would work with the Avengers. As such, if the need should arise you are permitted to leave Coulson's team if the Avengers' service is required. The Avengers takes precedent over the rest of your work." Fury told Natasha as they sat in a conference room. Hill was across from Natasha. Steve, sitting next to Natasha, was across from Coulson. Fury sat at the head of the table.

"The team has been notified about what I am about to tell you. Sometime in March you are expected to return to Russia, this time accompanied by Hill and Coulson, along with the rest of the Avengers. There you will eliminated all of Alexei's team and Alexei himself. According to the paper you just signed, you cannot refuse this mission. Your clearance at that time will not permit it. You must complete this mission." Fury continued. Steve could see the shock and anger playing on Natasha's face.

"And if I refuse to do it?"

"I'll strip all of your privileges and you will return from Russia as a normal citizen. You will be monitored by our agents to make sure that you are not engaging in any missions or spy-related activities. You will be reduced to nothing."

Hill must have seen the flashback beginning to come before the rest of them. She was standing up as Natasha threw a previously unseen dagger across the room at Fury. The knife, meant to strike Fury, pinned Hill to the wall through her upper arm. Coulson was the next to spring into action. He whipped a gun out of his pocked and aimed it at Natasha, who stood up, her eyes dark.

"Nat, listen to me, it's not what you think it is." Steve pleaded with her, also standing up. "Come on. It's alright. Just sit down and let's talk this through calmly."

"They're manipulating me, Alissa!" she shouted back at him.

_"Alissa?" _

"Just like they've always done. You know how controlling the Red Room commanders are, and now they expect me to return to Budapest and finish off the rest of all those people-?"

"NATASHA, WE ARE NOT THE RED ROOM!" Steve shouted at her. Fury was beside Hill. Blood was streaming down the Agent's arm and her eyes were tightly closed against the pain. "Come back to us, Nat, and we'll think this through in a civilized manner." Hill was beginning to turn pale.

"Severed an artery. Coulson, call medical. Rogers, get Romanoff out of her, detain her, I don't care." Fury snapped to the room. Rogers seized a hold of Natasha's arm and dragged her into the hallway. Down the elevator, into the wintery sunshine, and to Stark Tower.

* * *

"I fell apart, didn't I?" Natasha said a few minutes later as the drove through the Lincoln Tunnel to get to Stark's tower. Steve was clenching the wheel, his eyes dark and angry.

"Yes, you did. Fury was trying to explain to you the mission and you threw a knife at him. If Hill hadn't intercepted it he would be dead. You need to control your flashbacks, or one day, it's not going to be able to be fixed! Hill was seriously injured!"

"How bad was it?" Natasha whispered in a small voice.

"You caught an artery. She was getting pale within thirty seconds of you throwing the knife." Steve said mercilessly. "Why did you even bring that to the meeting? If you hadn't been as foolish, maybe we wouldn't have to think about the fact that Hill could lose her arm?"

"Anything can happen in SHIELD! Loki got to Earth through a SHIELD base. I needed to bring something to make me feel more confident." Natasha spat back. "Stop shouting at me! She'll live, I've gotten worse injuries."

"We all care about Hill, and when that happens right in front of me it-"

"And my worse injuries didn't happen in front of you? What about the whippings? What about the hour spent jacketless in the cold? The cut from collarbone to stomach? All that was in front of you, Steve, and you don't seem to care at bit!"

"Of course I care, or else I would have dunked you in SHIELD's pool for your reckless behavior!" Steve growled. They had reached the Tower. Pepper was waiting for them, a platter of cookies in hand. Steve wrenched the keys out of the ignition and threw himself out of the car. He didn't even bother to see if Natasha had gotten out. He stormed past Pepper and went straight to his floor.

* * *

**How was it? Maybe it is a Captain Hill fic... I can't decide which!**


	11. Laugh or Cry

**Love triangle, anyone? I don't know... should Maria be supportive of Steve and Natasha or does she secretly love him? I mean, Maria deserves a great guy and all, but Captain Hill is not one of my favorite ships. Still... must... decide...**

**Anyway, you guys are fantastic! I enjoy the support and the incentive that you guys give me! It makes me keep writing! Thanks!**

* * *

Steve didn't want to face the rest of the team. He was still furious at Natasha for what had happened. If she hadn't been stupid enough to be carrying a knife, Maria would still be alright and Fury wouldn't be mad at Natasha. But with all her insecurities, Natasha had taken a knife, even though she knew what could happen. He had finally lost his patience with the assassin. She needed to be brought back down from her high horse to realize what a danger she posed to the team and regular citizens.

"Steve!" someone was banging on the door of his bedroom.

"JARVIS, I thought I told you to lock everyone out of the floor!" Steve shouted at the artificial intelligence system. The banging continued. Steve jumped up and began to pace the room.

"I apologize, Steve. My system was overrun by Miss Ross." JARVIS finally replied. _Betty _had hacked into Tony's system? Steve, despite himself, was impressed by Betty's courage and intelligence level. He still didn't answer the door.

"Steve, if you don't open the door I'll break it down!" Betty shouted through the door. Steve groaned and wrenched the door open. Betty was standing there, startled looking, with one fist raised ready to pound the door open.

"Well, don't just stand there." Steve snapped. Betty stepped inside the bedroom and Steve slammed it shut, after checking to see if they were being spied on by the rest of the team. Betty sat on his bed, her feet dangling over the floor.

"You shouldn't have blown up at Nat like that. She was in pieces by the time that Pepper got her out of the car." Betty admonished. "She feels really guilty about what happened." Steve snorted. He crossed his arms over his chest.

"She was the one who brought a knife into that meeting." he replied icily. "I don't understand why you're blaming me for yelling at her." Betty patted the bed beside her. Steve obediently sat. They stared at each other for a minute- a soldier and a professor, just looking. Analyzing. Calculating. It wasn't a romantic glare. They were both trying to figure out what the other one wanted.

"They've stabilized Maria's condition. She's lost a lot of blood, and she's very weak at the moment. But she's alive." Betty said finally. "I thought you should know." Steve looked away.

"Maria has helped me through the New York City battle. She helped me get adjusted to the modern world and she made sure that the paparazzi couldn't track my house. She's like a best friend to me, and if she died, I think it would be over between me and Romanoff. I couldn't deal with her anymore." Steve said softly.

"Are you sure... that you're just friends?" Betty asked hesitantly. "You and Nat." Steve looked at her, his eyebrows narrowed.

"I don't know anymore. Just when I thought we had something special, she goes and throws a knife at my best friend. How am I supposed to deal with that?" he asked bitterly.

"She wasn't herself. She feels awful about it. When you're in those flashbacks, you can't see what's real and what isn't. The line gets blurred between reality and the past." Betty said. Steve raised his eyebrows. It was a surprisingly accurate description of a flashback.

"I might apologize to her. Nat." Steve said.

"You can't keep a grudge forever, Steve. Life is too short to be angry at someone you love. That's what I learned." Betty said, and left.

* * *

**_What happened at the SHIELD headquarters after Steve and Natasha left..._**

_"Coulson, please." Fury said, his hand on the knife embedded in Maria's arm. She was tensed, ready for the pain that she knew was coming. Coulson was standing in the doorway, torn between going to get medical, staying beside Maria, and chasing after Romanoff and Rogers. _

_"I'm going." as Coulson started down the hall, he heard Maria's ear-piercing scream, and Fury swearing. He began to run toward the medical room._

_Fury was desperate. Maria was losing blood and he didn't know how to stop the bleeding, especially since one of her arteries was cut when Natasha threw the knife. He just held Maria's arm in his hand, swearing the whole time._

_"Why did you take it for me?" he asked her through clenched teeth. His hand was slick with her blood now, and Maria was covered in it. It was streaming down her arm at a rapid pace. Her breathing was becoming shallower and shallower. He raised his other hand and pushed a strand of Maria's dark hair out of her eyes. Then he finally heard Coulson returning with medical. Maria went limp in his lap. _

_"Fury, please get out of the way." one of the medical team said authoritatively. "We need to stabilize her before she can be moved." The team was kneeling in her blood, and Maria was in the center of it, her arm continuing to spew dark red blood. The medical people put an oxygen mask on her face and began to clean the area around the knife wound. A white bandage was pressed onto the wound and quickly it began to show blood. Maria's face was growing even paler. _

_"Come on, Hill." Fury growled. "Don't do this over a knife wound."_

_"Sir, we can stabilize her but you will have to take her out of the field until it heals." They were clamping the artery shut. The blood flow slowed. A fleeting thought ran through Fury's mind_ We'll need a new meeting room!

* * *

_"She's stabilized. She's alive." the medical team finally said. Hill had been moved to a hospital room and Fury and Coulson were waiting to her the verdict on her condition._

_"I'm going to kill Romanoff." Fury growled. To his surprise, Coulson started laughing. It was the hysterical kind of laughter, the kind that happens when a person doesn't know to laugh or cry. "That agent is more trouble than she's worth."_

_"Must be worth a lot then." Coulson snickered._

_"Grow up, Coulson. We almost lost an agent today." Fury barked. That shut the agent up._

* * *

**Before you guys get excited, it's not a Fury/Hill fic either.**


	12. Controversial Names

**I was lucky enough to get some extra computer usage so I decided to hop to it on the next chapter! Here you go! (Still haven't decided, leaning towards Romanogers again)**

* * *

Steve decided to visit Maria in SHIELD's medical bay the following afternoon. As he stepped through the doors, he was met with a surprising sight. Maria, with her arm in a sling, was standing there, waiting for him.

"Before you apologize to me, Steve, I want to know for sure that you apologized to Romanoff." she said abruptly. Steve was caught off guard, but he shook his head. Maria stepped closer to him, her eyes blazing. "Don't argue over this. It's pointless and the past is behind us now. You need to repair your relationship with her, or you'll regret it for the rest of your life."

"I'm going to. I just need to figure out how to do it." Steve told her. Maria stepped away again.

"Good."

"Are you alright?" Steve examined his friend closer. Her eyes were a less vibrant shade of blue and her face was paler. Dark circles were under her eyes and there was a stiff, awkward way in which she moved with her right side.

"As good as I can get. I plan to accompany you to Russia in March." she replied crisply. "You need an agent with you with a quicker way of communicating last time. I'm skilled and I can get the job done. Someone needs to keep you in line."

"But your arm-"

"It's fine. They sealed the artery up permanently. I'll lose circulation in my right arm but I'll still be able to use it. I'm not supposed to use my arm in any strenuous activities such as climbing a mountain or doing the parallel bars in gymnastics. I'll be doing no Romanoff-esque stunts. Not like I did those anyway." Maria told him. Steve could see by the set in her jaw that she was determined to get back in the field.

"You were dying yesterday, Maria. Take a break. Relax. You don't have anyone who's telling you to get moving." Steve tried to say.

"People die everyday, Steve. It's luck that I'm here now, and I'm taking the chance that I've been given and I'm using the time I have left." Maria insisted. "Don't worry about me. I'll keep up with you all. Maybe even beat you to the mark."

"The time you have _left?" _Steve echoed.

"Meaning my life span. It's going to be shorter now that I have one less source of oxygen. If I tear the seal off I'll die." Maria said, her voice irritatingly calm and in control. "I faced death yesterday. I even saw my mother at one point. I've come to terms that I won't see as many days as the rest of the people in this building. I'm using this gift and I'm going to rid the world of some evil. Isn't that all I need to ask of you?"

"I'm asking you to save your life." Steve responded. Maria would not die if he could prevent her from going. She was his best friend and he would not let her end her life sooner than necessary. "Stop being a martyr and start being a normal, selfish human being. You can't save the world all the time."

"I'm not asking your permission."

"I don't care. I'm the leader of the team in question, and I will not let you accompany us to Russia." Steve shouted back. People were beginning to look oddly at the pair- one furious SHIELD agent in a sling, and one super-solider from WWII.

"If you think I'm a liability, what about Romanoff and her flashbacks?" Maria said. "She's more likely to kill herself than I am."

"Romanoff is a trained assassin, and she doesn't have an artery that could kill her if she does one push-up too many." Steve spat back. "I will not let you go." Maria's eyes flashed a furious ice-blue. It was startlingly similar to the ice that Steve had been in for many, many years. It made him think of the sacrifice he had been willing to make for the army. That same sacrifice was similar to what Maria was asking. How could he stop a soldier from doing what she was meant to do?

"If I let you, I'll never forgive myself if you kill yourself on this mission." Steve said slowly.

"If I die, I'll make sure that you know that it wasn't your fault." Maria replied, her voice softening a fraction. "I still have three months. Maybe by then Romanoff will be cured and I'll be healed. Steve snorted.

"I'll believe that the day when pigs start to fly."

* * *

**That night, Pepper and Tony**

"I worry about all of them. Steve and Nat in particular. They had an argument over Maria, you know." Pepper said that night as she was sitting up in bed, talking softly to Tony. He looked over at her, his chestpiece casting an eerie light over their bedroom. The lights were out and the only source of it was from the floor-to-ceiling glass that showed the New York City buildings around them and his glowing sustenance.

"They'll be alright. Steve is a gentleman, and he'll apologize soon enough for what they argued over." Tony reassured her. Secretly, he wondered what really was going on between Hill, Rogers, and Romanoff. It seemed that every time something bad happened, Steve and Natasha were there. This time, Hill had been caught in the crossfire and had suffered grievous consequences.

"Maria isn't alright, Tony. It's her arm that we're talking about!"

"Fury said that they sealed it off and she'll retain the use of her arm. He told me that she'll lose some of her circulation and her motor control, but she's always been fine shooting left-handed." Tony tried to tell his wife.

"This isn't about war and battles, Tony. Her whole life has revolved around the use of her arm. How will she be able to draw easily? Hold something steady for long periods of time? Do pull-ups on a bar? Do all the flips and things that's required in SHIELD. Write! It's like her right arm is reduced to the coordination of a senior citizen. How do you think she feels, with that now making her older before she wanted to be?"

"Her coordination will be just fine. Fury said that she's been shooting with her right occasionally and she was only a centimeter off the bulls-eye. He said she was upset about it." Tony tried to but in again. "Why don't we talk about us, instead of worrying about the other Avengers?"

"The Avengers is part of you, and they're part of me, too. I want the baby to be happy around these people. Realize that they are who he/she is going to be associated with."

"Yes, exactly." Tony said. "Which is why I want her to be named Stephanie Marie Natalia Stark." He could see Pepper's eyes go up. More, he could imagine them.

"You mean you're going to name her after a soldier, an assassin, and a SHIELD agent. You do realize you just named all the kinds of people that you generally dislike for our child. I was thinking more like Emily Elizabeth Stark."

"If she comes out screaming, her name is Stephanie Marie Natalia Stark. If she's quiet, we're naming her Emily Elizabeth Stark." Tony said finally. "How's that?"

"What if the baby is a guy?"

"Then it's Clinton Bruce Stark." Tony said immediately. "And I'm assuming you wanted a name like Anthony Matthew Stark."

"Wow, Tony, I didn't think you knew me that well." Pepper said, her voice slightly amused.

* * *

**Stephanie Marie Natalia- variants on Steve (I know it's a stretch) Maria and Natasha.**

**Emily Elizabeth- Emily Van Camp= Agent 13/Sharon Carter, Elizabeth Olsen= Scarlet Witch. Not that they know about that, of course.**

**Clinton Bruce Stark is somewhat self-explanatory. **

**Anthony is Tony's real name, and Matthew is a generic guy's name that I think that Pepper would like.**

**You guys can vote if it's a boy or a girl, and which name? Just so you know, if it's a guy, same rules as the girls. Tony's name=crying and Pepper's=quiet. Thank you all!**


	13. The Blood of My Friend is Also Mine

**I'm back again! I hope you enjoy the previous chapters and have fun reading! I don't really have anything else to say, just vote on the Stark's baby name and gender. Feel free to leave comments below!**

**Just so you know, this is after Age of Ultron, so Spoilers for those very sad people who haven't seen AoU yet. Even though it wasn't mentioned in the previous chapters, there is a floor for Wanda and the Vision. They were both on various missions or leaves of absence. Thanks for your flexibility with my hectic ideas. I've recently gotten used to the Scarlet Witch. Thought I'd add her in. And even though at the end of Age of Ultron, there's a new facility, the Tower is their residence in this story and the training facility is their main base. Hopefully that's acceptable.**

**Floors of the Stark Tower:**

**Basement- common floor, First floor- Bruce, Second- Clint, Third- Steve, Fourth- Nat, Fifth- Thor, Sixth- Wanda, Seventh- Vision, Eighth- the Starks.**

* * *

A month later, things were going well for the Avengers. Natasha and Steve had made up, and they had even started to go out to dinner together. Natasha's flashbacks were becoming even more infrequent. Betty and Bruce were happy in their lab, doing who-knows-what to squirrels. Jane and Thor were obsessing about Norse legends and astronomy. Pepper and Tony were busy expanding the tower to accommodate their future addition. Clint was enjoying his time with his kids at the farm. Maria was getting used to mainly using her left arm.

"Is anyone here?" A somewhat familiar voice asked, with a distinct Sokovian accent. The first to greet the newcomer was Clint.

"Wanda! It's so great to see you!" he exclaimed. "What brings you to our neck of the woods? I thought you were staying in Sokovia. Getting rid of some baddies over there." Steve followed Clint, and he leaned casually against the counter.

"I thought that I would accept Stark's offer and work with the team again." Wanda said, a little bit uncomfortably. "My brother is still dead, and missions alone was getting a little melancholy. I never forgot your offer."

"That's awesome, Wanda. Your floor is floor six. Vision is above you and Thor is below you. Hope you don't mind mixing with the guys up there." Steve told the brunette. She smiled slightly. "It's great to have you back with the team!"

"It's not a problem. I'll keep them in line." she said, with a touch of humor in her voice.

"That's good. They need the reality check." Steve joked. "May I take your things up for you?" Wanda shrugged and handed him a duffel bag. Steve stepped into the elevator with the Avenger next to him. He punched the button for the sixth floor.

"What have I missed?" Wanda asked nervously. "I wasn't debriefed before coming here, but I did hear some odd things about the team on the news." Steve sighed. The Sokovian was a nice girl, and he trusted her. He wasn't sure if he wanted to explain the hectic past month or two.

"We went to Russia to track down a terrorist group. We ran into Natasha's ex husband, Alexei Shostakov. He tortured her because she turned against Russia a long time ago, and we were detained for several months. Natasha now suffers occasional flashbacks that are somewhat dangerous. Make sure you're careful." Wanda nodded. Steve realized that she probably had them, too, after staring at Stark's undetonated bomb for many days, under her bed in Sokovia. "Agent Hill was wounded after Natasha had a flashback at SHIELD. Tony and Pepper are expecting their first child. And I'm dating Nat." Wanda looked surprised. Steve wasn't sure which fact startled her the most.

"Congratulations, Steve. Natasha is a great partner to have." she said. "Thank you for updating me. I'm sorry that I wasn't there for the team in Russia. You should have called me." Steve shook his head. They stepped out of the elevator and onto Wanda's floor.

"You would have gone through all that, too, and that's not something you want to see. It was terrible." he told her.

* * *

Pepper and Maria were visiting Clint's kids on the farm. Lila had attached herself to the brunette SHIELD agent and the redheaded CEO of Stark Industries. Cooper wanted Maria to teach him how to shoot. Maria refused, to Laura's relief.

"I wish that it were like this all the time." Maria said thoughtfully as she and Pepper were walking in the field a couple miles from the farm. "Peaceful. Not like back in New York, where you have to worry about Fury and Natasha and the rest of the team."

"I still worry about them, but it's different when I distance myself." Pepper said. They walked in amiable silence for a while, and then Pepper suddenly stopped. Maria kept walking. She had gone a couple feet when she realized that Pepper wasn't next to her.

The redhead was pale and her hand was to her abdomen. Color rushed from Maria's face when she registered the pain on her friend's. Maria hurried to Pepper's side and eased her to the ground.

"What's wrong?" Maria asked urgently.

"Pain." Pepper gasped. "I don't know what's going on, it wasn't due until April or May." Maria leaned over her friend. Her mind was reeling.

"What do you want me to do? Can you walk?" Pepper tried, but she fell back to the ground in pain after a few steps. "I could carry you back to the farm." Maria offered. Pepper shook her head frantically.

"You'll hurt yourself. Your arm-"

"It's your baby, Pepper. If I die saving your baby, I won't care." Maria insisted. "I didn't bring a cell phone. You can't walk. If I leave you here, you could die and your baby, too. It will be slower if I carry you, but then I won't have to lead Laura and Clint back here."

"Maria, don't risk your life-"

"It's my choice, Pepper. I'm choosing to do this, alright? It's not your fault, and besides, I have two arms. I can carry you in both and maybe nothing bad will happen. It'll be alright. Just focus on shutting the pain out." Maria said, struggling to keep her voice calm and collected. She felt herself slipping into her SHIELD facade. Cool, emotionless. Determined.

Maria lifted Pepper, who cried out in pain as Maria took her first step. The longer Maria walked, the heavier Pepper seemed to get. Pepper could feel Maria's muscles tensing beneath her sweater sleeves. Maria could feel blood... coming from somewhere... seeping into the sleeves of her white cashmere turtleneck sweater. It was sticky and warm. Pepper didn't know if it was Maria's blood, and Maria didn't know if it was Pepper's.

* * *

**Short chapter, I know. I wanted to get this idea out there as soon as possible, and I was so excited to write this chapter!**


	14. A Time Gone By

**Even though I wrote this right after the previous chapter, I decided that I'll leave you hanging until I get back from either a conference or my family vacation. I think it added to the suspense. I hope you enjoy this next chapter!**

**I read the reviews, and it looks like it's a Romanogers fic. I did get the suggestion for Fury/Hill, but I'm not sure if they'd have a good dynamic. Sorry!**

**All the medical stuff was kinda sorta researched. More like five minutes on Google. I don't know if you can burn an artery shut. Remember, fictional liberties everybody. Thanks. :)**

* * *

Tony was in New York City when he got the call from Clint.

"Tony, get over here. Now." his friend said, and hung up before Tony could even speak. Wanda, Natasha, Steve, Vision and Thor were also in the Tower at that time. Tony took the elevator to Steve's room, where the soldier was painting with Natasha.

"I'm leaving for Clint's farm. I think something's wrong." Tony said calmly, even though he really was itching to go. The two Avengers looked up immediately. Steve nodded at Tony, who was off like a shot. He didn't even pack. He jumped into the Quinjet and took off.

Tony was almost there when he was aware of... something... in the jet with him. He tensed his hands on the controls. Just as soon as he was ready to spin around and punch the intruder in the face, someone sat in the co-pilot's seat. The person was wearing red.

"Wanda, don't do that to me. Not now. I would have killed you if you hadn't announced yourself." Tony said stiffly, returning to the controls. The Avenger looked out of the cockpit, silent.

"I wanted to help you. For example, I packed your clothes." Wanda said, motioning toward a suitcase. "I also think I could help if something is wrong with Pepper. Soothe her mind, if you'll allow it. So she doesn't have to deal with the pain."

"What would you show her?" Tony asked cautiously. He was trying not to get too hopeful, or show Wanda that she had his attention. "Steve told me that you showed Nat the Red Room. I don't want you bringing something like that into Pepper's mind."

"I thought I would show her Pietro" -here Wanda's voice caught- "And our parents, and myself on the beach. In a cottage. Playing in the fields, making sand castles." Tony raised his eyebrows. He hadn't known that Wanda had had a life like that. Then he was reminded of how that life was taken away from her. By his own missiles.

"Wanda, I'm sorry. For everything. Destroying your family like that. I didn't realize that my weapons were used like that. You gave me a new perspective." Tony said after a while. Wanda glanced over at the tense billionaire.

"It's alright. I know that if you had a chance to save Pietro, or stop the bombs, you would do it. Which is why I want to help Pepper now. I thought you had tried to do that to us, but now that I've met you and your family, I know that that would never be the case. You would never try and hurt our family like that on purpose." Wanda told him.

"Thank you. You're a much better person than I ever was."

"You're redeeming yourself, Stark. Don't give up."

* * *

They had made it to the farm. Three miles of carrying Pepper was all that Maria could handle for one day. More like a whole week. Her arms burned and her head spun, almost like she was having a migraine. Which Maria was no stranger to. Headaches plagued her constantly throughout her job at SHIELD, but she had constantly pushed the pain aside to save people. Pain was almost welcoming to her. Clint and Laura had taken over after Maria had stumbled in the front door, exhausted and covered in blood. Looking down at her sweater, she knew that it wasn't hers.

Maria carefully rolled up the sleeve of her sweater to look at where only a month before, Natasha had ripped through muscle and an artery in her terrible flashback. Now there was only a scar to mark the event that had changed Maria's style of living. And now there was a dark purple discoloring of Maria's skin. She stared at it for a moment, and then her muddled brain finally comprehended what Maria had prepared for- the seal had broken off.

"Maria, are you alright?" Clint asked, coming out of the kitchen. He, too, was bloody, presumably from Pepper. "You look unwell."

"I think something's wrong." Maria said, her voice coming out foggy through her own ears. "My arm-" Clint took it gently in his hand, turning it over. The archer's face grew even more worried, and he stood up.

"You tore it, didn't you?" he asked. Maria could only manage a nod. "You're going to be alright, 'Ria." Maria was so tired. Her arm felt like it was weighing her down. "I know how to fix this. It'll be okay."

Clint was forced to open up Maria's wound again. This time, the knife was deliberate on her cold skin, and Maria hardly felt the skin part as Clint sliced her arm open for the second time. She didn't hear the roar of the Quinjet or Tony frantically running toward the house where Pepper was. Maria didn't comprehend the presence of the Maximoff girl, silently following the businessman into the farmhouse. She didn't feel Clint searing the edges of the artery closed with a flame. She could only look into the archer's blue eyes and think about the ocean that she had once visited. She wanted to drift off to sleep, and close her eyes.

* * *

Wanda wasn't sure where to turn once they landed. Should she go to Maria and Clint on the porch, where Clint was saving the agent's life? It looked like Maria was slipping away every second that they were there. Or did she go and save a child's life, one that hadn't even seen the light of day? Wanda only paused for a moment before she followed the anxious father into the house, but she did look back over the farmlands. She felt a stab of jealously run through her. Clint's children had never known terror. But perhaps that was a good thing.

"I think something must have happened. I called Dr. Cho and she said that it might be that there's too much pressure on the cervix. The strain is starting to rip through, causing the blood. The cure is bed rest until the baby is born." Laura said, her voice taut and nervous. "I don't know what to do to stop the pain."

Pepper was lying on the kitchen table, her face covered in sweat and the tablecloth below her stained with blood. Wanda choked down her revulsion and moved closer to the CEO.

"I can ease the pain for a little while, if you like." she said softly. "It's only temporary, and I can't give it to you all the time. You'll have to get used to some of the pain when the visions aren't there. You could get addicted to the visions, but it's your choice."

"Please, take it away from me." Pepper whispered. Wanda had never seen Pepper so vulnerable. She brought her fondest memory to her mind and let the red wisps flow from her fingers into Pepper's mind. The woman's body relaxed as she watched the vision.

"How do we stop the bleeding?" Laura asked a person on the phone a few minutes later. "Yes. Yes. Okay. Thank you, Dr. Cho." Laura hung up. Her brown hair was matted from the stress and blood was on her hands. "We just have her lie down until the baby is born. Since there won't be more pressure, the bleeding should stop. Helen says to move her once the bleeding stops, and to not let her walk or stand."

"You have no idea what this means to me, Laura. Thank you for trying to help. And you, Wanda. It's much appreciated." Tony said sincerely. It was the most open Tony had been since Wanda had met him. Usually he hid behind his mask of arrogance and humor. Now he was just an anxious man.

"Don't thank us." Clint said, walking in. His hands were covered in scarlet blood. Wanda turned away, unable to bear the sight of so much. Her brother had bled like that, too. She knew it. "Thank the agent that's sitting on your porch with a fresh knife wound."

* * *

Meanwhile, back at the Avengers Tower the others were anxiously awaiting the verdict from the farm. Thor was eating PopTarts at an alarming rate. Vision's brow was furrowed, giving away the fact that he was trying to think about what was going on at the farm. Steve and Natasha were sitting together watching Thor and the Vision. Bruce and Betty walked in on the silent common room.

"What's happened?" Bruce asked instantly.

"Something happened on the farm. Tony and Wanda rushed out to get over there." Steve said finally. Bruce and Betty sat on another couch across from Steve and Natasha. "We haven't heard anything, and it's been two hours."

Natasha's phone rang, and she had it to her ear before the first chime had even stopped.

"Thank God, Stark. What happened?" she asked swiftly. Natasha listened, fully aware that the others were now motionless, like statues. Even Thor had stopped eating cake flavored PopTarts. "I can tell them. Yes. Tell them to get well soon. Don't stress out too much, Stark. Goodbye. See you soon." Natasha hung up.

"Well?" Steve prompted.

"Pepper's baby was pressing on her cervix. She's confined to bed rest until the baby is born. Maria tore her artery open carrying Pepper back to the farm. She's lost a lot of blood and she's sleeping at the moment. Clint sealed her artery back up, but he had to open the wound again to do so." Natasha rattled off.

"At least they're alive." Betty said softly.

"How many bad things can happen in one year?" Steve asked to the room. No one answered. A lot.

* * *

**There! It's done! I hope you liked it! Sorry there wasn't as much Romanogers in this one, but I needed to resolve the first problem first! **


	15. Wanda's Compassion

**Sorry it took so long- I was on vacation.**

* * *

Clint never thought that so many bad things could happen on the farm. Pepper was bedridden now, and Maria's arm was now seriously injured. He felt guilty for slicing open her already injured arm, but there was no other way that he could have saved her.

Clint dialed the Avengers Tower.

"Hello?" he said.

"Hi, Clint! How are they doing? Are you bringing them back over here soon?" Natasha asked. She sounded tired to Clint's ears.

"Yes. Most likely tomorrow if Maria wakes up. She's still resting. We'll bring them back on the Quinjet." Clint replied. "How are you holding up over there? Bruce and Betty behaving themselves? Steve not driving you crazy?"

Natasha laughed. "We're all okay, Clint. It's just very nerve-wracking knowing that Maria's practically bleeding her life out and Pepper could lose the baby and we couldn't do anything but sit there. I hope that they're alright."

"I do, too. It's just..."

"What?" Natasha asked, her voice laced with worry.

"I'm wondering about Maria's career as a SHIELD agent. What's going to happen now? I'm certain that her arm isn't going to be reliable. I had to slice her wound open again, and now I think her muscles are so traumatized that they'll twitch a lot and throw off a lot of her coordination."

"Now you know how I felt, Clint. It'll be okay. She'll know that you saved her life, and that's all that matters." Natasha reassured him. "I've got to go. Steve and Bruce want to make waffles." Clint smiled slightly.

"Bye, Nat."

"Bye, Clint."

* * *

Wanda was in Clint's kitchen trying to make pancakes with her powers. It wasn't working. Flour bags kept exploding all over the place, and it looked like it had snowed. There was flour everywhere, including Wanda's red sweatshirt.

"What happened in here?" a soft voice asked. Wanda spun around so abruptly that the cup full of sugar she was trying to get into the bowl exploded. Maria was leaning against the doorway, a slight smile on her face. Her arm was wrapped in white gauze from her wrist to her shoulder.

"Nothing, I was just trying to make pancakes." Wanda stuttered. Maria raised her eyebrows.

"I thought you could control your powers more than... that." she said, motioning toward the flour-covered kitchen. "I assumed because you can stop a train, you can make pancakes." Wanda crossed her arms over her chest.

"I was a little distracted. It's been very stressful, and I didn't get a lot of sleep. Plus I can see what Clint, Laura, Tony, and Pepper are thinking, and that doesn't help at all." she reminded Maria. The brunette sat on a stool beside the counter.

"Can you hear my thoughts?" she asked softly. Wanda swallowed and nodded.

She could sense Maria's worry, even though her face was smooth and her forehead showed no sign of what she was feeling inside. The agent was worried about what she was going to do with her fresh, new wound. She wasn't sure if she would be able to go back in the field.

"You have no reason to be afraid, Maria Hill." Wanda told her. "You're a very good SHIELD agent. Coulson will fight tooth and nail for you to get back into the field, and if not, you can become an Avenger. With the rest of us." Maria was playing with a pencil in her left hand.

"What are you going to do with an Avenger who can't use their right hand? I don't think writing is an option anymore. I know the science of the human body, and I know that once a muscle is severed, it's very hard to get it back in peak position. I can't even do that without somehow tearing the seal off the artery." Maria said bitterly. "I've tried to write my name and it looks like a kindergartner's handwriting. I've lost so much because of this injury."

"But you've gained so many people who are rooting for you." Wanda reminded her. "Hardships bring people closer together. You have a friend in every Avenger, and probably most SHIELD agents, too. Even if you can't go into the field, we'll still be there."

"Being an agent is what I was born to do. It's what I love, and I don't want that stripped away from me." Maria said. "I never thought my career could end because an Avenger threw a knife at me, and another was forced to slice my arm open to save my life. It's not what I thought would end my career. I thought I'd die in combat and be given an agent's funeral. Not slowly watch the blood drain out of me knowing that I can't stop it."

"Maybe Tony will make you something to help with your arm." Wanda suggested.

"The thing is, Wanda, maybe I don't want to become the next Winter Soldier." Maria said it with a teasing voice, but Wanda could tell that she truly would not accept anything that Tony gave her. She was a proud woman, Wanda knew. All the Avengers sat on high and mighty horses, but all of them really were hurting inside. She had noticed that with Steve and Natasha. They really weren't as arrogant and self-centered as she had originally thought.

"If you want, Maria, I'll help you with your arms. Both of them. We can work on precision with your left hand and just making your right arm stronger." Wanda offered. Maria smirked.

"I think your power needs more precision, if you want to know how to make pancakes." she replied.

"I suppose you're right. Pancakes first, training after?" Wanda suggested.

"It's a deal."


	16. Evil Purple Minion

**Here's the next chapter!**

* * *

Maria, Pepper, Tony, Wanda, and Clint arrived back at the Avengers tower two days later. Tony immediately took Pepper to their bedroom to rest. Steve assumed that that was where Pepper was going to be staying from then on, until the baby arrived. Then Tony came back down to the common floor, where all the Avengers were seated around the coffee table. Maria was on the floor in front of Wanda's chair. The two seemed to have become friends while they were gone. Natasha sat next to Steve, who was very aware of the redhead's presence. Tony sat on the floor in front of the couch, where Betty, Bruce, and Thor were seated. Vision was in an armchair, as well as Clint. Jane was absent.

"Hi." Tony said awkwardly. The other Avengers blinked blearily at him. Maria leaned back against Wanda's chair.

"Well, this is really awkward." Wanda commented. "Catch me up on what's new. Other than Russia. I've heard enough of depressing things." Steve gave it to Wanda for breaking the ice. She was the newbie, the strange one in the group.

"Um, Pepper's going to have a baby?" Thor's voice rose at the end, making it a question. Tony smiled, although it didn't reach his eyes.

"Yes. We thought about names, but I think the recent events take precedence. If it's a girl, her name is Marie-Grace." he said finally. Maria cocked her head.

"You do not need to name your girl after me, Tony. It's your child, and nothing changes that. Nothing I do will make me deserving of this honor. Please, don't."

"We want to. Because by the grace of Maria Hill, our baby was saved, probably from death. You also might have saved Pepper. I don't take my wife's life lightly, Maria. It's an honor for us to have a friend like you." Tony replied forcefully.

"Tony, you need to chose out of the names you were already considering." Maria insisted. "The knowledge of what I did is enough. Her name does not need to reflect what I did. All the others would have done it if they had been in my shoes. It wasn't even a question in my mind."

"Maria, you could have died." Steve intervened. "And the Starks have every right to name their baby as they wish."

"And I have every right to refuse."

"It's not even your name, Maria. It's Marie-Grace. There's a difference." Tony told her. Maria sighed.

"I've done a lot of bad things, Tony. One action doesn't make up for all of the people that I've killed. Or the people that have died as a result of my orders. I just don't think that I deserve this honor, and your baby doesn't want to have a name that they'll regret for the rest of their life. No one wants to be named after a murderer." she said firmly.

"Maybe they want to be named after an angel."

* * *

Later that day, Maria went onto the balcony of the tower. She let the wind blow through her hair and unravel it from her ponytail. She looked out at the view of New York City, the cars little ants crawling below. The sun was setting in the west, and the clouds were streaked with pink and orange. She wore a different white sweater- it was the replacement for the one that was ruined by Pepper's blood and her own. A gift from the Starks.

"Fancy doing a coloring page with me?" someone asked. Maria spun quickly around. She was face-to-face with Wanda. The Sokovian was, for once, not wearing red. She was actually dressed in a pale blue hooded sweatshirt, emblazoned with blue fire.

"I'm too old for coloring pages." Maria replied, turning back to the view.

"No one is ever too old to be a child again, Maria." Wanda replied, after a moment of silence. Maria reluctantly turned around. "You can use your left hand. I know how much you hate using your right now."

"As long as it's an Avengers coloring page." she said.

"What else would it be? We can color Clint's face purple, and make him look like those weird evil things in that animated movie." Wanda said cheerfully. She had started to be introduced to pop culture, much like Steve. Clint had taken her to see the new Despicable Me.

"You mean an evil minion?" Maria laughed.

"Didn't you know that Clint is secretly a purple alien with Einstein hair?" Wanda said, completely straight-faced.

"I suspected it as soon as I met him."

* * *

Tony was down in his workshop, trying to come up with a brilliant project idea. He had already made the baby a cradle, a baby mobile, and a fancy sound machine that played classical music, along with some old tunes that Steve had picked out. Natasha had contributed to the mobile, with a hanging blue orb, a spider, a shield, red string (representing Wanda's power), a sparkly yellow faux-gem (for Vision) a green stretchy dude (for Bruce), a small pepper shaker, a non-pointy arrow, and a mini Thor hammer. The others had made a beautiful sea-foam green and pale blue quilt, somehow, even though none of them knew how to make a quilt. It wasn't too bad, for a first attempt. The room was painted, pictures were hung, and fluffy pastel rugs put on the floor.

"Your mobile is missing something, Tony." Elizabeth Ross said. Tony hated the nickname Betty. It made her seem older, less softer, and a lot more grandmother-like. Tony turned around from his workbench.

"What is it missing, Miss Ross?" he asked.

"You need something for Maria. On the mobile. She's part of your team, isn't she?" she said gently. Tony looked up at the mobile, where it hung from the ceiling, still waiting to be installed in the baby's room.

"Technically, no, she's not a member of the initiative." Tony told her. "She's a SHIELD agent and she's assigned to Fury, and he values her skills in that area. She'd be a great Avenger, though." He had never thought about including Maria in the Avengers mobile. Somehow a part of him would always associate Maria with being a SHIELD agent.

"She saved your child." Elizabeth reminded him.

"That's why I want to name her Marie-Grace." Tony said bitterly. "Maria doesn't want it to happen. She's very proud." Elizabeth leaned against the workbench and brushed a strand of her dark hair out of her eyes.

"She doesn't like the thought that she could have done it faster." she told him.

"What do you mean? She went as fast as she could. She did more than I ever asked of her, and I'm grateful for it. Without her, Pepper would probably have lost the baby." Tony replied. "I'm certain of it."

"She thinks that her arm had healed quicker, she would have been able to run back to the farm." Elizabeth said quietly. "She blames herself for not getting there quicker. She believes that she could have gotten her there in a half-hour, instead of a whole hour."

"They were three miles away. There's absolutely no way that Maria could run a ten-minute mile while carrying someone. It can't be done."

"Her fastest mile alone was five minutes, fifteen seconds." Elizabeth said. "In her mind, the double weight accounts for double the time. Ten minutes, thirty seconds a mile. Three miles. That's a half-hour."

"That equation makes no sense."

"Perhaps not. Either way, she deserves to be honored on that mobile." Elizabeth turned to go.

"Thank you, Elizabeth."

"You're welcome."

* * *

**Wow. That was... unexpected.**

**Hopefully you all are okay with the name Marie-Grace. I know it's an American Girl doll name, but pretend that that doesn't exist. It's quite pretty. Marie (for Maria) and then Grace (because of Maria's grace for Pepper)**

**I consider coloring pages as therapy for all ages, and it would help with Maria's coordination... who else likes the idea of Clint as a corrupt Minion from Despicable Me?**

**I do think that Maria should be an Avenger. Sadly, I don't think she is. Yet. Cross your fingers! I also never really liked the nickname Betty for Betty Ross, so I gave a little of that opinion to Tony. I think Elizabeth is a pretty name and it shouldn't be shortened. **

**I hope you liked it! **


	17. One Lifetime

**Hi again! Here's the next part...**

* * *

Pepper had never felt so guilty in her life. Every time Maria stopped by, her upper arm wrapped in white gauze, Pepper's heart sank. She hated the thought of harming her friend's career, and hated the fact that she hadn't brought a phone on that walk. Tony couldn't even console her. Pepper had nothing to do except think about the rest of the team, and everything they were going through. Nat's flashbacks were somehow getting worse, and Maria's arm constantly bothered the agent, even though she tried to hide it.

"Tony?" she said one night as he sat in an armchair beside her bed. He refused to sleep with her now, because he was afraid of harming the child.

"Yes, Pepper?" he said, looking up from _Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. _She gazed at him.

"You should take them out to dinner or something. Or cook dinner together, so that they have something to do. Tell them that I want to try the dish that they make." Pepper said finally. Tony hesitated before he replied.

"It's dangerous to do that, Pep."

"Why? They're all good people, and I'm sure that their cooking really isn't that bad-"

"It's not the cooking I'm worried about. It's their sanity." Tony said sharply. "If Maria drops something, she'll get all aloof and cold, and then only Wanda will be able to talk to her without getting her head bitten off. And if something sets Natasha's flashbacks off, we'd all probably die. There's _knives _in the kitchen. A knife is what caused Maria's injury."

"They need some off time, Tony, and they need to work together to solve problems like that!" Pepper insisted. "I don't want to be the center of attention anymore." The Avengers were constantly up at the Stark's floor. Clint brought his kids once. Natasha and Steve sat and read some of _Lord of the Rings _in Smurf voices, which had been oddly amusing. Betty and Bruce had almost bored Pepper to death talking about gamma radiation. Thor had overflowed Pepper's nightstand with cake PopTarts. Maria, in her own quiet way, had presented Pepper with a black-and-white multi-picture frame. Inside of it was pictures of Tony and Pepper, and individual shots of all the Avengers. Pepper had asked who had taken them, and Maria had replied that she had.

"I'll bring it up at breakfast tomorrow."

* * *

Steve was apprehensive about this 'dinner' that Tony had requested. There were so many things that could go wrong. By the way Maria was sitting, it was clear that she wasn't quite sure how to take the request, either. They were eating Belgian waffles, with store-bought bananas and strawberries

"A dinner." Clint said. "You want us to make a dinner today." Tony nodded. The other Avengers had varied looks upon their faces. The ones that were perfectly fit and sane looked more enthusiastic, while Maria and Natasha looked doubtful.

"I don't want to ruin your dinner, Tony." Maria said. "I'm not up to that yet." Tony looked across the table at the SHIELD agent. She had been sleeping on the couch on the main floor, because she obviously couldn't drive home and none of the Avengers wanted her to leave.

"There's a first time for everything, Maria. Including making dinner with a damaged arm." Maria flinched away at his words, and Clint shot a reproachful glance at the businessman. He rested his arm on the back of Maria's chair.

"You know, Maria, you can ask for help. That's allowed." The Agent gave a weak smile but she didn't reply. Steve rested a hand on Natasha's knee, under the table and out of sight of the others. He continued to eat his waffles. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Natasha give him a brief smile.

"You said that Pepper really wants it?" Thor asked innocently. Tony nodded hopefully. "Well, if Lady Stark wishes it, it shall be done. I will do it alone if I must."

"No, no." Betty said quickly. "We'll all help you, Thor. I don't know why we were even questioning it." Everyone at the table knew that if Thor had done it alone, the dinner would have been more of a dessert than a dinner.

* * *

The baking started out smoothly. Steve stood at the refrigerator, faced with a coloring page of Clint, but his face was purple and Maria and Wanda had colored outside the lines to create the wavy purple hair from the Despicable Me movie. He could tell which parts had been done by the left-handed Wanda, and which ones had been done with Maria's damaged right arm. Sometimes there were random lines where her arm muscles had jerked, however much she tried to cover it.

"What was I looking for again?" he asked out loud. Wanda glanced over her shoulder.

"Getting old, Grandpa? Can't remember what you're supposed to be looking for?" she teased. After a beat of silence she finally gave in. "The eggs, Rogers." Natasha laughed. The redhead and the Sokovian were standing at the sink, chopping green peppers and onions. They had decided to make omelets, with homemade tater tots and toast. Maria was helping with the bread-making crew, handling the flour and the milk.

"Thanks, Miss Witch of the West." Steve replied. He heard Maria and Clint laugh from the island. Wanda didn't.

"It's from the _Wizard of Oz." _Natasha stage-whispered to Wanda. The brunette nodded, but she clearly didn't know the movie very well. "I'll have to watch it with you. It's a good movie." Steve delivered the eggs to Clint and Maria. He leaned against the counter, watching the action. It was quite fun, he decided, making food with a team that normally only destroyed things. Now they were making something.

* * *

The first event happened while Maria was spooning flour into the bread dough. Clint was reaching across her, and he bumped into her upper arm. A jolt of pain seared through Maria's arm and she instinctively dropped the cup full of flour. It landed with a crash, and the sound of breaking glass rang through the room. Flour sprayed everywhere. Natasha and Wanda's pants were suddenly covered in white dust.

"It's alright!' Clint said frantically. Maria was holding her arm, a look of horror on her face. "My fault, I'm sorry. Carry on. You start measuring again, Maria. I'll clean this up. It's fine." Maria frowned at him.

"I'll do it. I'm fully capable." she said, her voice cold. "It's my mess, anyway. You know what you're doing up there." The other Avengers were frozen, and then Steve sprang into action. He snagged the dust pan out from underneath the sink and swept up all the flour and broken glass. He tossed it in the trash can and was done before Clint could try and help him.

"There. Problem solved, and you both can get back to work." he said sternly. He met Maria's steel-blue eyes and wasn't sure what he saw in them. A flicker of self-doubt, for sure. Anger, maybe. But who was she angry at?

* * *

The second event occurred when Thor caused a grease fire in the frying pan. He was in charge of the tater tots, and somehow they caught fire in the pan of oil that he fried them in. Fire sprang to the ceiling of the kitchen.

"Don't throw water on it!" Bruce said frantically. He pulled Betty out of the way of the flames. Natasha was frozen, her eyes reflecting the orange tongues that poured from the pan. Steve saw her start to shake. He made to move around the counter, but Wanda was already there. She wrapped her arms around the redhead.

"Elizabeth, the fire extinguisher!" Tony shouted. Steve saw panic in the scientist's eyes, and at first, Steve wasn't even sure who Tony was talking to. Betty pulled the fire extinguisher off the wall and tossed it at Tony. He caught it, pulled the pin out, and sprayed. Soon they were all covered in the white foam and the tater tots were sitting charred inside the pan. Wanda let go of Natasha, who was still quivering. The Sokovian's forearms were scratched from where Natasha clawed at her for release.

"I'm sorry." Thor said pitifully. "I didn't know that that would happen." Maria patted him on the back. Steve hugged Natasha, who seemed stunned. One hand was at her back and the other cradled her head. They broke apart after a brief moment and Natasha gave him a watery smile.

"Well, you'll need a new pan, Stark," Clint said jokingly. "Good thing your fire extinguisher wasn't expired."

"Is everyone alright?" Tony asked, ignoring Clint's comment.

"Fine. I'll take Nat upstairs and you guys can clean up, and I'll come back after she's calmed down." Steve said. He gently steered Natasha toward the elevator. The others stood there for a minute, looking slightly surprised.

"Okay. The bread is baking, and the eggs are almost done. We'll pass on the tater tots for now. If we do this again we'll try again with those." Bruce said calmly. "Wanda, go get cleaned up and tell Pepper that we're almost done." Wanda nodded.

* * *

Steve was relieved when Wanda delivered the message that Pepper liked the dinner. He hadn't come back down to help the others. Instead he sat in his room, pondering on what had just happened. He knew that Natasha's flashback was set off because of fire, but he didn't know why. She had never told him that. But he had been so close to kissing her, there in the kitchen, in front of all those Avengers. She had been so vulnerable-looking, and he wanted to hold her and comfort her.

The windows outside were semi-dark. The only light came from tiny cars moving floors below him, and the lights in the skyscrapers. He was wide-awake, and it was twelve at night. Steve stood up and stretched.

"Mr Rogers, Miss Romanoff is awake." JARVIS said, his voice loud in the previously silent room. Steve briefly wondered why the A.I. was telling him this, but his feet automatically moved toward the elevator.

As almost in a dream, Steve punched the button for Natasha's floor and waited while he moved down a floor. The doors dinged softly. Her floor was dark, but Steve moved easily though the rooms. He had been in her room in the dark often enough. JARVIS always woke him up if Natasha was having a nightmare- and these days, they were even more constant.

She wasn't in her bedroom. The covers were pushed back but the bed was still slightly warm, as if she had only just left. Steve scanned the room for Natasha. His eyes drifted toward the glass doors of the balcony. Her silhouette was framed in the lights of the city.

Steve stepped out into the wintery air and was immediately cold. Natasha didn't move, even though he knew she had heard him. He didn't move that quietly.

"I was very young when they died." Natasha said, her back still to him. "I was sleeping in my bedroom, with that bear that Clint gave me. The room was warm, and I woke up because I was dreaming about being roasted in an oven. My room was in flames, and the only thing not on fire was my bed, next to the window. There was no way to get to my parents or my brother. I opened the window, which was uncomfortably hot. I was on the second floor. I jumped out the window, and rolled on the ground. It was instinct. I got out and watched the house collapse on itself. I knew they were dead."

"You did all that you could." Steve replied softly.

"But not enough." Natasha said, turning around to face him. He could see the silver tears that glistened on her pale face, illuminated by the lights of New York City. He stepped closer. She watched him, her eyes gauging his movements. Another step closer.

And suddenly, he was kissing her. One hand was at the small of her back and the other was around her shoulders. Her lips were soft and firm. He could feel her tears on his face. His hand moved up to rest in her sweet-smelling hair. There they stood, the spy and the soldier, both of them unsure of where they stood in the world, but sure of what they shared with each other. They broke apart and they looked into each other's eyes.

Steve thought he was the luckiest man in the world.

* * *

**Originally I did not plan to include the Steve/Natasha moment here at the end, but I do realize that the story has drifted a little :) I intend to bring it back on track, starting with that scene. I'm not good at kissing scenes. The only other one I've written was the Tauriel/Legolas kiss at the end of Whirlwind. **

**I thought that it would be nice if Maria was a photographer. She seems like the kind of person who sees the little things in life. Maybe I've been making her too vulnerable, I don't know.**

**Hope you liked this!**


	18. Hiding the Pain Inside

**I'm spoiling all of you with these new chapters. However, all people deserve to be spoiled.**

* * *

The Avengers planned an outing to see _Phantom of the Opera _on Broadway. All of them were dressed in casual clothing, and Bruce and Thor had elected to bring Betty and Jane with them. Vision had decided not to go, since his presence would make it obvious that the Avengers were there.

Steve's ticket was for the chair next to Natasha. She was wearing a zip-up navy blue sweatshirt and jeans. He was wearing a baseball cap and a v-neck sweater. Next to Natasha was Maria, who was wearing a wine colored long sleeve shirt and jeans, with boots. Then was Wanda, dressed in a pale blue hoodie and leggings. After her was Clint, in purple, and then Bruce in Betty, who were wearing Oxford shirts. Then Thor and Jane, Thor in a flannel button-up shirt and Jane similarly dressed. Tony had decided to wear a sport coat for reasons the others didn't know.

They stepped out the door as soon as they were all ready. Immediately a light bulb flashed in Wanda's face and she blinked. The group was swarmed with eager journalists.

"Miss Maximoff!"

"Captain America! Miss Romanoff! Mr Stark!" Steve's mind was filled with their senseless clamor.

"Answer a couple questions, Miss Maximoff?" A blond reporter shoved a microphone in the Sokovian's face. "How do you like your new team, and America? Do you find it to your liking?" Clint tugged lightly on Wanda's arm. She looked bewildered.

"We're leaving, and we expect privacy from the citizens of New York City." Clint said into the microphone. "We're trying to have a pleasant day off, and you reporters had to ruin it. You're making us all very frustrated. Please, let us carry on our business."

"Mr Stark, we heard that your wife had some health issues lately. How do you explain this? Would you please give us some insight on her illness?" Wanda heard another reporter say. Clint drew her slightly away from the line of reporters that were swarming the Avengers. Betty and Jane looked terrified, and Steve and Natasha were stiff and unfriendly looking.

"You must stop this, Wanda." he whispered urgently. "Get into their minds and send them away until we return to the tower. We don't want them following us into the theater."

"I can't control all of them. If I tried I would get too overwhelmed to stop them from closing in." Wanda said, her voice soft. "I don't want to try. I could damage their minds permanently, and no matter what they do to us, it's not worth it."

"Miss Hill, are you now an Avenger?"

"Hawkeye, are you now in a relationship with the wayward Miss Maximoff?" That got a reaction from Clint. Wanda tried to restrain him but he wheeled on the reporter.

"Stop with your questions, woman! I'm sick of answering and I'm sure you wouldn't appreciate it if I pried into your life! Show some respect!" he growled. "I'll make sure you're fired for this if you continue with this silly desire for information. I suggest a higher-end profession for you!"

"Clint!" Wanda protested.

"GO AWAY!" Bruce finally shouted, his voice finally starting to get a little Hulk-like. The reporters frantically scattered. The Avengers were left standing in front of the tower, their faces red with anger despite the cold wintery air.

"Everyone alright?" Tony asked. They all nodded, Clint a little less enthusiastically.

* * *

The show began. Maria was enjoying herself. Even though the day had had a rough start, things went smoother after the reporters dispersed. The ticket lady said nothing about the mob of superheros that entered the theater. The ushers were polite and showed them to their seats without questioning their presence. Maria saw Steve and Natasha hold hands midway through the first act, which put a smile on her face.

The searing pain began shortly after intermission. It was like someone was pouring boiling water over her arm without pause, or like someone was setting it on fire. Maria sat upright in her chair, spine straight and her eyes ahead, facing the stage. She willed herself to focus on the music, listening for the flutes and the flutes only. She tried to force the pain to the back of her mind, and she wiped her face blank of all emotion. Wanda, beside her, was open mouthed the whole show.

Maria registered almost nothing of the second act. Her mind was focused on shutting the pain from her arm out. It only got worse, and soon she had to bite her lip to keep from crying out. But she would not leave the room. She made herself believe that she could make it through. She had done it before. Once during a meeting with Fury, her head had hurt so much that it had been all she could do to keep from throwing up all over the conference table. It was the same now. Steve unwittingly bumped her arm, and Maria stiffened as pain seared up her arm again.

"Are you alright, Maria?" Wanda asked softly. Maria forced herself to respond.

"I'm fine." she said curtly. Wanda turned back to the music and the stage.

* * *

Steve was fully aware of Natasha sitting beside him throughout the whole show. He could smell her shampoo and he could hear her light breathing as she watched the show. He hadn't felt like this in a long time. Steve held Natasha's hand through almost the whole first act, and the second, after intermission. He loved sitting next to her and seeing her watch the ballerinas with longing eyes. He even enjoyed the singing and the storyline, even though he had never seen it before.

Faintly he heard Wanda and Maria whispering, but his attention was on the stage and Natasha, sitting next to him. The music swelled in a crescendo and he heard Natasha sigh with pleasure. Steve smiled.

When the show was over, they all rose, chattering about the performance. Maria was oddly quiet, but Natasha was animated and grinning from ear to ear.

"The show was _amazing." _Betty gushed. "The music is so beautiful. I wish we could to things like this more often."

"Maria liked it." Jane teased. She elbowed Maria, who silently stepped away from the scientist's reach. "She couldn't take her eyes of the dude conducting the orchestra. I think she wants to be one of those symphonic players someday."

"Right." Maria said. "Wanda was the one who had her mouth hanging open the whole time." Wanda immediately began to protest as they walked into the wintery sunshine. Steve took Natasha's hand as the group moved down the sidewalk, still laughing. Maria was still silent, striding beside Wanda, dark and silent.

"Did you like it, Nat?" Steve asked.

"Yes. It was great choreography and good singing. The shoes had velvet on the bottoms." Natasha said simply. "It would be interesting to see another show sometime. I'd never been to Broadway before. It's a great experience."

* * *

Maria didn't think she could last the five blocks that they walked to the tower. Her lips were tightly pressed together and she tried to avoid moving her arm as much as possible, which resulted in a weird, stiff-armed kind of walk. Wanda noticed but didn't comment.

As soon as they stepped into the tower, Maria excused herself to the bathroom. She shut the door, knelt on the floor, and threw up everything she had eaten for breakfast into the toilet.

* * *

"I was thinking we should go see _Les Miserables _together." Steve said that night, as he and Natasha were on her floor, painting with the canvas and paints that Tony had provided. "Sometime. As a couple." Natasha paused in her artwork.

"A couple?" she repeated. Steve swallowed.

"Well, yes. I thought maybe we were-" he broke off, ashamed that he had assumed such a thing. " I meant, would you be my girlfriend, Nat?" She smiled at him over the easel. Her green eyes glittered.

"Are you sure you don't want to ask Peggy Carter out?" she said. Steve hung his head, disappointed. "I meant, of course, Steve. I don't know why you even asked me."

"Where I come from, ma'm, nothing is assumed." Steve said.

"Where you come from, Steve, is where _everything _is assumed. Like superheros don't ever date other superheros." Natasha replied. She turned her painting around to show him. It was a picture of Clint's farm, with the rolling green hills and the white barn house.

"Think Clint will like it?" she asked him. Steve nodded. He turned his around, too. It was a pretty little cottage beside an ocean, a blond boy and a brunette girl playing in the fields. He had thought about it for a long time. Wanda had shown it to him once.

"Think Wanda'll like this?" he asked in turn.

"Of course she will."

* * *

**Okay, okay. Let me explain. **

**Phantom of the Opera is my favorite Broadway show. I really want to go see it, so I figured that I'd at least let the Avengers watch it. A bonding experience, you know? And then I also had the thought that Steve and Natasha would hold hands during it, unaware that Maria was in serious pain beside them.**

**Les Miserables is a very good musical and I highly suggest watching the 2012 movie. While you're at it, watch Phantom of the Opera at the Royal Albert Hall. It's sooo good. Brief fangirling spell over.**

**I also liked the idea of the Avengers in casual outfits, hence the long description of what they were wearing. There's something interesting about the thought of the Scarlet Witch in blue, isn't there?**


	19. Food of the Soul

**I'm back again! Thanks to everyone who reviewed, and yes, the Russia mission is fast approaching for the Avengers. Don't think that I forgot about that. I'm still cooking up evil plans for that mission/chapter. MWAHAHAHAHAHA. :D Sorry for the jump from January (in the story) to March. And that I skipped Natasha and Steve on Valentine's day. (Deleted scene, anyone? Or is that not allowed? Maybe I should actually read that code of conduct... XD)**

* * *

It was now March. Steve had grown increasingly worried about Natasha as the inevitable Russian mission approached. They had one week to prepare, and everyone was slightly on edge as a result. Bruce had sent Betty back to her university, determined to not let her see them depart or return. Jane and Thor had parted ways and he had promised to write to her when he had the time. Steve was just relieved that Natasha was going on the mission with him, and so he didn't have to worry about her safety while he was gone.

"Light feet, Wanda." Steve reminded the young Sokovian as he battled her with only his shield. She had given her word that she wouldn't use her powers, and so far, she was telling the truth. "It's sort of like a dance. Don't set your feet anywhere solid. Pretend that you're standing on lava, so you stay light on your toes. It lets you dodge easier." Wanda nodded. Her brown hair was swept up in a ponytail and she was wearing workout clothes. Not something Steve saw very often.

"Go between the legs." Natasha suggested from the sidelines.

"Nat!" Steve protested.

"It takes people out of action pretty quickly." she reminded him. "You know it's saved your life, Rogers. Don't deny it." Steve smirked at his girlfriend. They had been together for almost three months now, and they made witty retorts at each other. It gave him brilliant comebacks.

"Yes, but don't tell her when she's fighting _me!"_

Wanda laughed. She had gotten used to the Avengers in the months that she had been with them- especially Maria. The two had developed a close friendship. Wanda had helped Maria with her arm therapy, and in turn, Maria had helped Wanda's accent slowly dissolve. She now spoke with a mix of a Sokovian accent and a Midwestern accent, since Maria was from Chicago.

"Why don't you demonstrate?" Wanda asked innocently.

"I'd be delighted to, but then I think our relationship would end with him lying on the floor and saying in a high-pitched voice 'I don't want you to be my girlfriend'." Natasha drawled jokingly. Steve snorted.

"Let's just stop this conversation."

* * *

Later that day, Steve and Natasha booked flights for the Avengers team. They were to leave on March 17.

"How many tickets do we need?" Steve asked, scratching his head.

"Well, Fury says that Coulson and Maria are coming along with the Avengers. So me, you, Wanda, Vision, Bruce, Thor, Clint, Tony, Maria, and Coulson." Natasha ticked off with her fingers. "That's ten tickets." Steve whistled.

"And these are all being paid for by SHIELD, right?"

"Correct. I have the card here." Natasha said. She booked their flights and printed out all their tickets. "So we'll sit in that order, too. I wrote it on their tickets." Steve rolled his eyes at her.

"You really think that Maria wants to deal with Tony and Coulson?" he asked. Natasha looked up from shuffling the tickets together. She tilted her head to the side and smiled a slightly evil smile at Steve. He was a little unnerved.

"It's more so Tony and Coulson behave themselves. She'll keep them in line, and silent the whole flight. It'll be great. No nagging from them, and Vision will shut Bruce and Thor up. Clint will just Skype his kids."

"You thought that through a lot, didn't you?"

"I think everything through."

"Yeah, right. Remember on that ship? You're the one who almost got us blown up-" Steve reminded her.

"Yes, and I'm the one who shoved you through the window to save your life." Natasha replied without even looking over at him. Steve groaned.

"Why can you always make the best comebacks?"

"Cause I'm a girl."

"Tony has some pretty good comebacks, too, Nat, and I'm pretty sure he's not a girl." Steve said sarcastically. Natasha laughed.

* * *

Maria was feeling apprehensive about the Russia mission. Pepper's baby was due and Tony was Maria's 'buddy'. The idea was that the buddies would move around the bunker together and cover each other's backs. The pairs were Tony and Maria, Nat and Steve, Bruce and Clint, Thor and Vision, and Coulson and Wanda. She knew she could probably handle it, but her arm made her less assertive.

"Relax, Hill. I'm not going to abandon you mid-mission." Tony drawled when Maria confronted him.

"Yes? And if Pepper has to have a C-Section or she's dying, you won't leave?" she shot back. Immediately she knew she had been a little cruel to the billionaire. He blanched at her words and looked awkward.

"Ummm..."

"Stark, I swear that if Pepper is going to have the baby, you're going to leave. I'm going to make you leave, and you are going to see your little girl come into the world. Those sorts of things don't happen every day, Tony." Maria reassured him.

"It's my duty to stay with you." Tony said uncertainly.

"It's your duty as a _father _to take care of your girls. I don't care what happens to me. Make sure that the first thing Pepper and the girl see other than each other is you. From the start, you have to be there. Every step of the way."

"Maria-"

But the agent had turned on her heel and had went out the door of the Stark's floor. Tony was secretly glad that Maria had put those fears to rest.

* * *

"Daddy, promise you'll come home?" Cooper said as Clint prepared to leave the farmhouse. He was sitting on the porch railing as Clint started to get ready to leave. Clint looked up at his son and smiled tiredly.

"I'll come home, Cooper. I promise. I'll try as hard as I can, and you know that Steve and Nat will fight tooth and nail to get me home." Clint replied. Cooper relaxed a little bit.

"Say hi to that agent for me, dad. And that I liked her purple minion picture of you." Cooper said.

"Okay, I will." Clint laughed. He grabbed Cooper and spun him around in circles until they were both dizzy. "Make sure you take care of them, alright? You're the man of the house now. Make sure that mommy doesn't make too many cupcakes or eat too much chocolate."

"Can't promise you that, dad. Chocolate is the food of the soul." Cooper said seriously.

"I guess you're right." Clint said. As he got in the Quinjet, a tear glistened on his cheek. He took a one last glance out of the car window, where Cooper was sitting on the porch once more, holding the purple minion picture. Clint snapped a picture of it and then flew away.

* * *

**1\. I have a really awesome thing that I saw during church today. The boy ahead of me had a Thor bear and I smiled because it had the Avengers logo on its paw. It was a really cute. It had hammers on it and it was dark blue.**

**2\. No Wanda X Vision. I don't really like that pairing, either. Maria and Wanda are single ladies, guys. Not such a bad thing.**

**3\. Skype, for those of you who aren't familiar with it, is basically a video chat. I used it to talk to my grandparents when I lived in Africa.**

**4\. March 17 is my brother's birthday. So I chose that as the date in March. **

**The evil plan has been set into motion. Buckle your seatbelts people. We've got a bumpy ride ahead of us. I know this was a short chapter, but hey, there's a first time for everything.**


	20. The Blue of Their Eyes

**CHAPTER 20? HOW DID THIS HAPPEN? :D**

* * *

It was March 17th. The day that they set out for Russia for the second time. Steve couldn't help but feel dread in the pit of his stomach. What would happen this time? Who could they lose? Which member of the team might not come back on the return flight? Who could Steve imagine life without? Who would be tortured? He could tell that Natasha shared his same doubts, along with some of her own that were probably more terrifying than his own.

"You okay, Red?" Tony asked as he hauled his suitcase up the stairs of the airport.

"As well as I can be." Natasha said, her tones clipped and short. Steve walked close beside her, his side brushing hers when they were jostled by the other people going to the airport. Looking straight ahead, she continued "Fury reserved the whole plane for us. There's no one on our flight to Russia." Steve raised his eyebrows. Since when did Fury do that kind of stuff?

Beside Tony, Steve, and Natasha, Maria was walking. She had no suitcase. Wanda had shoved all of Maria's stuff into a backpack.

"You're not taking guns as a carry-on, Nat?" Steve asked casually. Natasha snorted.

"Please. We're bypassing the security checkouts, or else people would think we're mad terrorists. No, there's SHIELD agents that went to the airport to explain. Maria was one of them." she said. Steve almost felt sorry for the airport security. They were eyeing the Avengers with looks of awe and distrust.

"How's it going, Maria?" Steve asked, turning to the brunette SHIELD agent. She gave him a tight smile. Steve noticed she was doing what he had notice she did quite a bit- holding her arm stiff at her side, and her face was wiped clean of emotion. He could see something burning behind her eyes, though, almost fighting to be seen. He stepped closer.

"Are you sure?" he asked softly. She nodded, her gaze straight ahead. "Let me take your backpack, Maria."

"If I take it off, it will hurt." she said, almost inaudibly. Steve looked ahead, too. To the other Avengers, it looked like they were having a polite conversation.

"Your arm is bothering you again, isn't it." he said. "Maybe you should go home." That got her attention. She spun around so that she was facing him.

"I'm not going home, Steve. I can't sit back at the tower wondering if you were all dead. I can't do that. I would go crazy, alone with Pepper in there. I don't want to be treated like a cripple anymore!" she said, her voice frustrated.

"You're not a cripple to me."

"Everyone else acts like they need to carry my bags, or help me with random stuff that I can do alone. It's impossible to act like a normal person when people are constantly dancing around the subject of my arm!" Maria continued. "I need you to be the one that doesn't do that."

"They all care about you, Maria, and the last time you strained yourself too much, I thought you were going to die. I can't lose you, Maria." Steve tried to tell her. Maria's eyes flashed menacingly.

"Maybe you should worry about Nat instead." she said bitterly. "She's your girlfriend. Worry about her. She deserves it more than I do."

"That's not true and you know it."

"Did you tell Nat that you couldn't lose her?" Maria said icily. Steve blinked. He hadn't expected that question. By the way Maria looked at him, he knew that she knew the answer too. "Didn't think so. Maybe you should ask her if you can carry her bag."

"Maria!"

* * *

They boarded the airplane. Vision brought no luggage. He needed none. He sat down in his chair while Wanda stuffed her red backpack into the overhead compartment.

"If Fury reserved the whole plane, are we still sitting in a row?" Wanda asked to the general public of the plane. The others nodded. Wanda shrugged and plopped next to the Vision. He shifted uncomfortably. The Sokovian made him nervous. She was a little weird and slightly different from the other Avengers. More gentle, somehow, and more innocent.

"Are you well, Miss Maximoff?" he asked awkwardly. Wanda nodded. She fiddled with the string of her red hooded sweatshirt.

"Fine. Planes make me uneasy." she said softly. Vision frowned. He hadn't known that. He hadn't really gotten to know any of the Avengers, but he knew a lot about them from what he had learned from JARVIS.

"Why is that, Miss Maximoff?"

"Our house was leveled by a plane. I can't ever forget that, and being in a plane makes me feel like we're dropping bombs on houses as we go by, ruining people's lives like Stark's bombs did mine, and Pietro's." she explained.

"I am deeply sorry for your loss, Miss Maximoff." Vision said politely. Wanda gave a thin smile.

"Thanks for rescuing me, that day. It was very hard for me, knowing that I was all alone. I couldn't think straight and I was ready to die."

"No one deserves that fate, Miss Maximoff. I regret that Pietro died. He seemed like an entertaining soul." Vision said finally. "A bit like a less self-centered Mr Stark." Wanda laughed at that. Vision was startled. No one had ever laughed at his words before. It was a new experience.

"How do you feel about going to Russia, Vision?"

"I've never been there before. I am excited to experience a mission there, and perhaps we will also do some sightseeing if it goes well." Vision said. "Human experiences are different for me, and so I am interested in this."

"That's an interesting way of putting it, but I can understand that."

* * *

Steve hated fighting with Maria. Even now, at the end of the row, sitting next to Coulson and Stark, she seemed very on edge and nervous. His gaze drifted over to Wanda and Vision, chatting politely together, and Stark and Maria, conversing somewhat seriously over who-knows-what.

Natasha was shivering in her seat.

"You'll be alright, Nat." Steve told her. "It'll be easy. Get in, get out. Pretend it's like any other mission. Don't think about it too hard." Natasha straight ahead at the back of the seat in front of her.

"I'm scared that I'll have a flashback in the middle of a mission and accidentally kill one of the team members. Like you. We'll all be split up, and you'll be there, and if something triggers it again, Maria won't be there to save someone's life."

"You won't have a flashback. I'll make sure that nothing harms you. If you ever need a break, we'll stop and you can gather yourself." Steve reassured her. "I won't let you down, Nat. I'd never do that. You know that."

"I know, it's just-" Natasha broke off. "What if you get yourself killed? How will I live with something like that on my shoulders?"

"It won't be your fault. Sometimes things are out of control, and it's all we can do to ride it through and make the best out of what we have." Steve told her. "I would never blame you on my death. I would take full responsibility."

"So much has happened because of my actions." Natasha whispered. "You had to watch... that... and Maria's arm- I can't even look at her anymore, because I'm afraid that she's mad at me, and that _was _my fault. I never should have brought that knife into the meeting."

"But she's okay. She's happy, Nat, and she knows that it's not your fault." Steve tried to tell her.

"She's not happy. Look at her, Steve." Natasha said. Steve obediently looked. Maria was sitting bolt upright, her face blank, but behind her eyes was a fire that threatened to consume the calm, ocean blue that Steve was accustomed to. "I noticed it at that Broadway show. She was in pain the whole time, but she didn't tell anyone. I've been watching her, and whenever she gets like that, she gets all SHIELD agenty and unemotional. Blank. Unsympathetic. It's the face that all SHIELD agents have. We all do."

"It's her choice."

"It just makes me feel so guilty, that's all." Natasha confessed. "And going back, I feel like we're walking into a trap of some sort. Like he expected us to come back. I don't know if I'll pull myself together enough to kill him."

"That's my target, too. We're a team because we're assigned to the same thing, and we're both supposed to get to Alexei. If you can't, I will. No one will know." Steve said, putting a hand on Natasha's knee.

"Thanks, but I think I should do it." Natasha smiled weakly. "It's what's supposed to happen."

* * *

**You all deserve a t-shirt that says "I survived 20 chapters of No More Memories without keeling over". I can't believe that I've written this story for that long of a time! It's been great, but it's not over.**

**And I think I've decided that there WILL be a sequel. I don't know what it's going to be called, but I do have a plot for it. Vaguely.**

**Anyhow, thank you SO much for all your amazing support and guidance. I've grown so much as a writer through Steve, Nat, and Maria.**


	21. Put on a Show

**The end of the story fast approaches everyone. This is going to be an interesting chapter. It will switch viewpoints between the 'buddies', so you'll get most of the story down.**

* * *

The team clipped their parachutes onto their backs and prepared to leap out of the plane. They all jumped in quick succession until Thor and Vision were left on the plane. The pilot nodded for them to jump out, and the two did, without their parachutes. They both could fly.

Steve watched them land a couple feet away from the rest of them. All of them were carrying their luggage, strapped to their parachutes. It was a new innovation of Tony's. Maria slung her backpack back onto her shoulders. He saw her grimace of pain, before she wiped it away with that mask she now constantly wore. Natasha had a small suitcase, and Steve brought a duffel bag.

"Okay. It's a mile to the bunker. Nat, you'll be hacking into the security system while we walk, so we'll walk slowly. All of you should stick to your buddy from now on. Only separate when necessary, and always have a rendezvous point. Maintain the communication unit at all times. Do not turn it off. If your name is asked for, you will respond, even if you're bleeding your guts out. Tell us your location if you need assistance. Nat and Steve, as soon as the target is dead, call it. Maria and I will keep the corridors clear. Thor and Vision, you make sure that no reinforcements come for us. Bruce and Clint- you're copying their data and then you'll destroy their computers. Wanda and Coulson- place the explosives. We're blowing this place clear. When Steve and Nat call the mission over, I want everyone out in five minutes. If you're still in the building, you must tell us. We're not exploding our team members here." Tony said while they started to walk. He tossed Natasha an iPod and she started to hack into the security.

"Remember, Stark, if you get that phone call..." Maria reminded him, her voice stern. "You're leaving. Immediately. Fly away in that suit of yours and go see your baby." Tony, in the suit, didn't answer.

"I don't have a choice, do I?" Tony asked finally. "It's a mission, no matter if my child is being born or not."

"No, you don't." Bruce chimed in. "Maria, if you need help, come find us." Maria rolled her eyes. Natasha's eyes were on the iPod. Steve guided her around the roots and they continued walking.

"Got it!" Natasha said triumphantly. Tony raised his hand for a halt.

"Okay, gang. Put your gear on. It's time to end this, once and for all." Natasha smashed the iPod with a boot and then opened her suitcase. She pulled out her Black Widow uniform and began to take her shirt off.

"The guys will leave." Steve said, his voice laced with command. The boys reluctantly went a distance away. Steve quickly stripped down so he could put his own suit on. Thor pulled his cape and armor on, Coulson his trademark suit, and Bruce his stretchy pants. Clint pulled his sleeveless jacket on and slung his bow on his shoulder. Steve extracted his shield.

"Everyone decent?" Clint called.

"Yes!"

The boys started back to where the girls had changed. They found Maria, Wanda, and Natasha already dressed and their suitcases neatly packed and zippered. Maria was wearing a dark suit with a colored button-down shirt underneath. Steve could see the pistols she wore hidden beneath her jacket. Wanda was in her red jacket and black undershirt.

"Ready?" Tony asked. They all nodded.

* * *

The door of the bunker opened smoothly upon Tony's command. The Avengers slipped inside and broke into their pairs. Maria and Tony set off down the hallway, not choosing a specific one. A group of guards came around the hallway. Maria's hand went to her guns. She drew quickly and fired, but not before one of the guards pressed a big red button on the wall of the bunker. An alarm went blaring. Tony swore.

He blasted the rest of the guards with his hand and continued. They were jogging, and at intervals more guards streamed out from hidden doors. Maria was accurate as ever, and Tony's suit quickly eliminated the guards that Maria didn't see.

"How many more, do you think?" Maria asked breathlessly. Tony shrugged.

"A lot, I'm guessing."

They continued down the halls, stopped by the troops that were seemingly endless. The bullets bounced off Tony's armor, but he did start to get concerned for the SHIELD agent beside him. But she remained seemingly unruffled, and no blood showed at all on her pale blue shirt.

"You alright?" Tony asked as they were undergoing a particularly bad barrage of bullets. Maria kept shooting.

"Fine!" she shouted back between shots. "Got that call yet?" Tony shook his head. Suddenly, inside the helmet, the phone rang.

"Sir, it's Miss Potts." JARVIS said, his voice oddly calm among the gunfire.

"Take the call!" Maria shouted at him, glancing over at Tony.

"Alright, JARVIS. Sent it through." Tony said, blasting two guards at once.

* * *

Natasha and Steve ducked in every doorway, searching for Alexei. A couple times they ran into the laundry rooms, and were forced to knock out most of the occupants in the room. They ran into some soldiers, but mostly they encountered none. They could tell where Maria and Tony had been. In some corridors the blood and bodies were terrible, and in others, there was only one or two fatalities.

"They definitely are keeping the corridors clean." Steve commented. "Look, Nat. A perfect shot to the heart. Maria's aim is perfect, as always." His partner didn't reply, but he heard her sigh of relief.

The pair kept walking. They ran into a man coming out from a room, and his eyes were shifty. Steve grabbed him by the collar and shook him violently.

"Where is Alexei?" he demanded. "Where is he?" The man made a choking sound and Steve relinquished his hold a fraction, but still retained his grip around the man's throat.

"South corridor. Second room on the right." the man gasped. "Mercy, please. Sir, please. My family is home waiting for me." Steve and Natasha exchanged looks. She nodded and Steve whacked the man on the head with the butt of a fallen gun.

"You're welcome." he growled, and then stalked down the corridor with Natasha at his heels.

* * *

Wanda and Coulson were placing explosives every corridor, linked together by some high-powered Stark technology. Coulson could tell that Wanda felt revulsion at this task, and knowing the girl's past, he understood why.

"You hate this, don't you." Coulson said as they placed yet another bomb in a niche. Wanda swallowed and nodded. "It's not the same. These are the people that tortured Natasha, and the ones who wanted to hurt the rest of your team."

"I know, but I still think of all those men who will be killed." Wanda said awkwardly. Coulson stood up and dusted his hands off.

"The men who are going to be killed are very bad people. Sometimes, they sign up knowing they deserve it. I think, deep down, they know what they are doing." Coulson tried to tell her. Wanda shrugged her shoulders.

"My parents were killed by bombs. They might have family back at home waiting for them to come home, and because of us, they never will."

"What do you suggest? Dragging all of those people outside so they can live to kill again? Letting Natasha's torturer loose to do that to someone else?" Coulson asked, his voice hard. "You can't always be the hero. Sometimes you've got to be the bad guy, or else you'll never be the hero."

"It's just hard." Wanda said softly. "How many of them were going to be someone great?"

"Not many of them, if they were working for Alexei."

* * *

Thor and Vision constantly had to incinerate approaching war tanks bearing the Red Room's flag, which Natasha had shown them. Reinforcements were apparently being summoned from all sides, and they were kept busy constantly. Sometimes the tanks fired back, but those shots were quickly dealt with with Thor's lightning power.

"A bit like target practice, I am thinking!" Thor shouted to Vision.

"Not quite, because these are moving!" Vision replied. "It is much harder to hit them accurately, especially without targeting lightning!"

"I suppose you are right, friend who speaks like the invisible butler!" Thor replied. "It is a little harder than those target circles."

"But still quite interesting as an experience."

"I suppose you can think like that." Thor said.

* * *

Bruce and Clint located the computer room quickly and copied the information onto a flash drive. Many of the files were restricted, but Clint managed to hack further into the system to withdraw a high-level officer's ID and password. From there they retrieved all of the files on the computers. Clint was double checking to make sure that he hadn't missed anything when he heard the crackle on the comm's unit-

"Guys, this is the end of the line. The hospital called and apparently there's been a complication with the baby. I'm aborting my part of the mission." Tony said, his voice loud.

"But Stark, you can't just abandon Maria." Clint protested."Your duty is here."

"But my heart will be there." Tony replied. "Please, Clint. Let me go to my family." The others were starting to pay attention now. Clint's ears were filled with their voices, either urging Tony to go or begging him to stay.

"Go. Just go." Clint said finally. "I respect you, Tony, and I fully expect you to take any responsibility if anything goes wrong here."

"Nothing is going to go wrong, Clint. We've got our location on the target. Are all the other teams ready?" Steve said over the line. Clint heard the affirmative from all the others. Maria's tone was a little breathless- maybe she was still clearing the halls.

* * *

Maria was working alone now. There were less guards, thankfully, but now she was covering her own back as well as trying to keep a look out for incoming soldiers. Her arm was burning, the pain an ever-constant reminder of what she was risking. Her left hand was growing tired, but still she kept firing. The flow of soldiers ceased for a brief period. Maria wasn't sure how long she had until more of them came, but she slumped along the wall and tried to take deep breaths.

"You're not alone, Maria." someone said into their comm. "We're keeping an eye out for soldiers. Wanda and I are moving out." Coulson. Maria felt a flash of relief run through her and she stood up. A soldier came around the corner but Maria shot at him almost instantly. The soldier's eyes were wide as he fell. In Maria's ear, she heard a gunshot, which echoed through the building, too, as well as her ear.

Coulson swore. "Wanda's been shot!" he announced, his voice growing more frantic.

"It's nothing." Maria heard Wanda say. "It's only grazed me. I'll be alright. I can walk."

Maria sighed as she heard more footsteps approaching. She reloaded her gun.

* * *

Steve and Natasha burst into the room that the man had said Alexei was. The room was dark, but Steve could feel the malice coming from somewhere in the room. Suddenly, the chamber was filled with gunfire and bullets were bouncing everywhere. Steve felt a hot, searing pain as a bullet grazed his upper arm, but he didn't cry out. He heard Natasha suck a breath in, and wondered if she was injured, too. He tapped the inside of her wrist, and she squeezed his hand lightly. In the dark, he saw her jerk her head toward the right wall. Steve's hand groped for the light switch.

He flicked it on. Alexei was illuminated for a brief second, but so was the ten soldiers lined up against all of the walls, waiting for them. Natasha's bullet zoomed toward Alexei, who slumped to the ground, a dark spot in the center of his forehead.

Then the room erupted in gunfire, and Steve threw his shield, angled at the corner. He saw Natasha's hand come up, wet with blood, before the shield flew back to his hand and the soldiers dropped to the ground.

"Nat." Steve said urgently. "Were you shot?" Natasha swallowed. There was one bullet wound in her stomach. It was oozing blood. Steve almost had a panic attack when he remembered what Maria's arm had looked like.

"No vital organs." Natasha said, clearly struggling to gain control of her voice.

"I'm calling the mission. Alexei is dead. Nat and I are moving out."

* * *

Wanda and Coulson were sitting two hundred yards away from the bunker, the trigger of the bombs in Coulson's hand. They were aware of their surroundings, and Wanda couldn't feel any minds around them.

"I'm calling the mission. Alexei is dead. Nat and I are moving out." Steve's voice said, the soldier's voice calm. Wanda and Coulson had heard Natasha and Steve talking. Wanda had been startled when they heard that Natasha was shot.

"Do you need help?" Coulson asked.

"No, we're close to the back door. We'll walk around and meet you there." Steve said.

"Alright. Don't let your guard down." Coulson warned. He could almost hear Steve roll his eyes.

* * *

Thor and Vision also heard the mission being called. They continued zapping the tanks that were approaching, now at a slower pace and with apparently more powerful guns to shoot them with. Luckily, Vision was quick enough with his crystal that they never needed to learn how much more powerful the guns were.

"We'll keep the ground clear for you, Steven!" Thor announced. "You and Natasha will have a clear field." Vision heard Steve laugh.

"We'll do just that, Mr Rogers." Vision said.

"Thanks, guys." Natasha said.

* * *

Bruce and Clint were also out of the bunker. They were traveling along the edge of the yawning gorge that was on the east side of the bunker. A river roared beneath them, and Clint shivered.

"That gorge is freaky." he commented. "It's like it's waiting for us." Bruce walked alongside Clint, and shrugged.

"It's not that freaky. It's a force of nature. Just look at the eroding along the sides. You can see the sedimentary rock in there, and all the layers that have built up over time." They reached where the rest of the team was just as Steve and Natasha did.

"We're waiting on Maria now." Clint announced.

* * *

Maria was sprinting down the west corridor, heading toward the window on the other side of the bunker. Ten soldiers were following her, not firing, for some reason. Maria couldn't shoot back, because she would either get shot and she was also out of bullets. She heard Clint say that they were waiting for her.

"Do it now!" she shouted.

"You're out!"

"Almost!" she replied. She was in the east corridor now. The window was twenty feet, fifteen feet, ten feet away.

"Alright. We're doing it."

Maria's shoulder burst through the window just as she heard the first bomb go off. She hurtled through the window and had a split second to register the hungry, roaring river beneath her.

* * *

**Like I said, evil plans. Very, very evil plans. Sorry for the cliff. Both the cliffhanger and the one that Maria is now suspended, cartoon-like, in mid air. This was actually planned almost since I decided she would go to Russia with the rest of the Avengers.**


	22. Fighting Back Tears

**Here's the next chapter for you guys- prepare your tissues everybody!**

* * *

Tony held his baby daughter for the first time on March 17th. Pepper was lying in the hospital bed, asleep, and Tony was free to gaze at his wife and little girl as much as he wanted. Marie-Grace Stephanie Nicole Stark was what he and Pepper had chosen. Marie-Grace for Maria, Stephanie for Steve, and Nicole for Natasha. The three best people Tony had met, all wrapped into one little girl. He could hardly believe that he was a father now. It was so surreal, knowing that he had created this little baby and his wife had brought her into the world.

The complication was that the cord had been wrapped around Marie-Grace's head, but the doctors had cut it by C-Section and she had survived. Tony had flown in the suit from Russia to the United States in an hour, which was probably a speed record. Tony dialed Clint.

"Clint, I'm a father!" he whisper-shouted triumphantly.

"Congratulations, Tony." Clint said. There was something off in the archer's tone of voice that Tony couldn't quite pin down.

"What's wrong, Clint?" he asked, suddenly feeling less happy now. Clint was silent for thirty seconds, and then-

"Maria's dead, Tony."

_"What?" _

"She was in the bunker at the last minute and she told us to explode it. We're not sure if she made it out in time, but we haven't found her body and her comms unit is dead. We're flying back to the States now. I'm so sorry." Clint said softly.

"I never should have left." Tony said, his voice hollow. Maria was dead. Maria Hill, the only SHIELD agent that Tony had ever really liked, other than Coulson. The one who had taken Natasha's knife that had been meant for Fury. The ever-present, constantly loyal Maria was dead, and it was probably because he, Tony, hadn't been there to save her.

"We've all agreed that it's not your fault. You deserved to see your little girl and I'm happy for you, I truly am." Clint said, and then he hung up.

_Maria was dead._

* * *

"Maria Hill was one of the best SHIELD agents that I've ever worked with. She had good presence, good ideas, and a good heart. She always knew what to say and what to do, and she had an unusual sense of humor. It was from her that I gained the title 'Evil Purple Minion.' Maria was one of the instrumental SHIELD agents when Loki stole the Tesseract. She risked her life to shoot them down before they made it out of the safe zone. She impacted everyone she met with her courage, her strength, and her compassion. Maria worked harder than most people. When she lost the use of her right arm she never complained, even though it rendered her coordination almost useless in that arm. She went into her final mission using her left hand, and survived until the very end. I don't think I ever got the chance to tell her thank you. She taught me so many life lessons while she stayed at the Avengers Tower, and even in death, she continues to teach me even more about persistence, loyalty, and forgiveness." Clint said.

Maria's funeral was a private affair. Only the Avengers, Fury, Coulson, and Agent 13 were present at the funeral, along with any family members that the Avengers invited. Betty, Jane, Pepper, and Marie-Grace were in the audience. The dark mahogany casket was empty of Maria's body, which had not been found. The Avengers assumed that she had perished in the blast. The funeral was outside, with the birds singing and the trees blowing gently in the brisk spring air.

All of them were plagued with guilt about what had happened during that mission, especially Coulson and Wanda. They had been the ones to set the fuse, and Coulson was ultimately the one who set them off. Marie-Grace's birthday was shared with her namesake's death, a fact that Tony hated, and not because of the two girls whose lives had bean and ended on the same day, but with himself. He knew he could have done something to help her, but he had left instead and abandoned his team.

Clint sat down. Steve stepped up to the podium, and his eyes scanned the small crowd.

"How do I explain someone like Maria?" he began. "Do I say that she was the 'best SHIELD agent ever'? Or does the distinction go to Coulson over there?" A polite round of laughter, but with no heart in it. "No. I would say words like brave, kind, intelligent, and gentle. I don't know how many times Maria has saved my life. Maybe, if I counted, I would miss many of them, because she has saved my life in ways that neither of us probably know about. There was the time during the HYDRA invasion of SHIELD that I thought we were done with. But Maria surprised me with her rescue and she's surprised me many times after that. Her actions are startlingly fresh and her words surprise all of us. Maria reassured me in one of the darkest times in my life, and even then, she was like a bright beacon of hope. Even though she's gone now, what she's left behind in my life will never die out. She's one of the people who has helped me become who I am today, and I want to say thank you."

"I saw into Maria's mind and I saw nothing but despair." Wanda said. "And yet she showed no outward sign of what she felt inside. She was very strong, and I looked up to her as a sister would another sister. She taught me how to speak like an American, and sometimes I say something and expect her to correct me. But she always did it in the gentlest way. She taught me that even though people might sit on proud, mighty horses, sometimes they get off those steeds and become a humble, vulnerable person. I learned a lot from that realization, and it has helped me deal with Tony and all the rest of this team of guys. We would to therapy together, and during that time I got to know her as an excited child when she did something accomplished. I knew her as a witty, sarcastic person who make jokes at all the right times. I knew her as a soldier, fighting the pain that she felt inside and hiding it. I wish we had had more time together, and I wish that I could have gotten to know her more. There will never be someone in the world like Maria."

"While sitting in the Avengers tower, I now feel like part of it is missing. With Maria's absence comes a loneliness and an emptiness that wasn't there before. She added a certain atmosphere to the tower that I appreciated. It was a hardworking atmosphere and probably got me on my feet more often." Bruce joked. "I didn't know Maria very well. I feel like now I have so many questions for her, but then I turn and she's not there to answer them. I should have gotten to know her better, and if I knew that we would lose her this soon, I would have cherished every moment with her. But now she's gone, and that time is passed. Now we have to just remember and learn from a person who wasn't afraid to be different. We can learn from the past, and those memories will stay with us forever. I will take her memory and use that experience to influence what I do today, and I will live everyday like it is my last day. Thank you."

"I confess, I was the one who started the whole drama with Maria's arm. Traumatized and confused, I brought a knife into the meeting room with Fury, Coulson, Steve, and Maria. Fury annoyed me (which probably happens a lot more than you think) and I threw a knife at him. Maria intercepted it, and with that action, she brought a whole lot of consequences down onto her. I take from that move that she made many lessons. That action was selfless, and I should be more selfless. At times I am quite self-centered, but knowing Maria has drawn me away from that damaging trait and has changed my personality. It has made me a better person. It has also taught me to work through difficult situations. While Maria was undergoing physical therapy with Wanda, she never gave up and she never stopped trying. I think we all need to learn a little from that example. And finally, she taught me forgiveness. I never apologized to her, and yet she never brought the subject up unless someone else did. That has taught me to forgive and forget, instead of holding endless grudges against those who harm me. I want to say thank you, Maria, for teaching me these things, and I also want to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I did that to you, and I hope that you can forgive me." Natasha said, and those close to the stage could see a tear running down her face when she left.

"I'm the last presenter, so you don't have to worry about listening to the others gabbing about who-knows-what while they're up here." Tony said, with a little less of a swagger than usual. "What should I say about Maria? Should I say that she saved my child and my wife from certain death? Perhaps that is appropriate. By now you are all very familiar with Maria's injury, I'm sure. I've heard this story from Maria herself, as well as Pepper. They walked three miles away from... a safehouse... and Pepper had some issues with the baby. Maria offered to carry Pepper back to the farm, all three miles, with her injured arm. Therefore risking her life, because she had a seal on her artery. If the seal came off, she would probably die from internal bleeding. But she did it, and she carried Pepper back. And she did tear the seal off, and only survived as a result of Clint Barton's quick thinking. Maria is the ultimate example of sacrifice, love, and selflessness. I admire her for this and I thank her for saving the lives of Pepper and Marie-Grace."

Tony sat down and then all of the Avengers joined in hoisting Maria's casket into the hole that they had dug, three miles out from the Barton farm, where Pepper and Maria had stopped and Maria had carried Pepper back. They were all silent as the first handful of dirt was tossed onto the casket, and they all had tears in their eyes as they looked at the white marble headstone that read

_Agent Maria Christina Hill_

_SHIELD agent_

_Avenger_

_friend_

_"To the well organized mind, death is the next great adventure."_

* * *

**Is anyone crying yet? Yes? Good :) Just kidding. It was supposed to be depressing though. **

**What the Avengers said they learned from Maria could actually be what _I _learned from writing her. She was a great character to write.**

**THE STORY IS NOT OVER. DON'T FRET. There's still the Epilogue and that Valentine's Day deleted scene that I might write. REVIEW.**


	23. Epilogue

**It's the end of the line, ladies and gents. We've made it.**

* * *

_**Five Years Later**_

A little blonde girl frolicked on a pedestrian bridge, her eyes filled with joy. A little ways back, her redheaded mother and her dark-haired father watched her with fond eyes. A brunette photographer was snapping pictures of the bridge, her eye pressed to the view.

The little girl tripped, and she went down. Her eyes filled with tears as she took in her bloody knees. Her parents, too enamored with the water, didn't notice. The photographer stopped taking pictures and knelt down beside the little girl.

"Are you okay?" the photographer asked. The little girl started to bawl. The photographer looked at the camera in her hand. She sat next to the little girl. "Lean against the sides of the bridge. It's pretty comfortable." she said finally.

The girl sniffled.

"What's your name?" the photographer asked.

"Marie-Grace." the little girl replied sulkily. "I was named after Maria Hill." The photographer looked surprised, but she recovered quickly. Marie-Grace continued to cry. The photographer clicked through her pictures and showed the girl.

"See, look. Here's Central Park, and the Grand Canyon. There's Big Ben, and Vancouver." she said. "There's a picture of the Atlantic Ocean, and a picture of the Russian mountains, and Sokovia, and a picture of me."

"Your pictures are pretty." Marie-Grace sniffed. "And you look a lot like the lady that's in my bedroom. The one in the picture, that daddy says is dead." The photographer blinked.

"I just moved here from London five years ago. I don't think your daddy would have a picture of me." she replied gently. "Do you want to help me take a picture?" Marie-Grace looked down at her bloody knees.

"I dunno. Mommy doesn't want me to talk to strangers. She says that some of them don't like daddy, and they might kidnap me."

"Well, I won't kidnap you. I'll take you back to your parents, alright? Then she won't be worried anymore."

"You take pictures with your left hand." Marie-Grace said abruptly.

"I was in a car accident. A shard of glass cut my right arm very badly, and so I can't use it anymore." the photographer said, her voice getting a little anxious.

"My daddy said that Maria Hill takes pictures with her left hand, too." Marie-Grace said thoughtfully. "She didn't use her right arm, either." The photographer put her camera in her bag and took Marie-Grace's hand.

* * *

"Your little girl here fell." the photographer said once she had reached Marie-Grace's parents.

"Thank you for bringing her back." the mother said sincerely. "Sometimes she runs off and we get worried about her. She's an only child, and we can't have any more." The photographer looked sympathetic.

"Daddy, she's a photographer!" Marie-Grace announced.

"Oh, really? Who do you work for?"the father asked.

"National Geographic." the photographer replied crisply. "I moved here from London five years ago."

"Daddy, she takes them with her left hand!" Marie-Grace said persistently. The man looked startled.

"Wow, um. You know, we used to know someone who did that, too." the man said. "I'm Tony Stark. This is my wife, Pepper, and my daughter, Marie-Grace."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr Stark." the photographer said. "Maria Hill."

* * *

**Isn't that a great ending to a (I think) good story?  
**

**What a journey this has been. 23 chapters and romance, tragedy, and comic relief. I loved writing this story, as you can see, because this obviously teases the sequel to 'No More Memories'. **

**Thank you so much to rainingWolf, my beta, and also AtomicPlaty, who has been there since the beginning! I appreciated all your reviews. It helped me get out of writer's block.**

**-rohanyoshi.**

**Be prepared for the next story, coming out in about fifteen minutes. :)**


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